City of Compton

I'm Back...

2009-12-16T09:05:00.001-08:00

I'm gonna take another crack at this blog. No particular reason other than I get bored.

This is embarassing...

2009-04-03T12:29:00.001-07:00

Get rid of RC Johnson - that dude can't do anything right.

So he made the decision to not go through a private firm in this new coach search... real smart.

Now the rest of the freaking world knows who we're going after and who we're thinking about going after instead of keeping the info private - you know like a PRIVATE FIRM!

Bruce Pearl didn't even get contacted.
Tim Floyd turned the offer down.
Mike Anderson chose to stay in Mizzou.
Sean Miller is not interested.

We have one option left before we have to go to the second tier... Reggie Theus.

Yes, that's right - Reggie Theus.

Why not?

He can coach, he can recruit, has NBA experience, a good personality... and therefore has all the likeness a player would want when looking for a school.

This is it - he's our last option.

If this doesn't work out then expect Derrick Kellog, Scott Drew, or Andy Kennedy leading the charge at the Forum.

That's all I got for now.

Bruce Pearl...

2009-04-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

Let me make things perfectly clear:

As a Memphis fan I am programmed to dislike anything that is UT related, so at this point in time I hate Bruce Pearl.

I hate Bruce Pearl very much the same way as I hated John Calipari before he arrived to Memphis...

If Bruce Pearl decided to coach at Memphis I would love him. Once Bruce Pearl left Memphis I would hate him once again.

So is life...

This post today is inspired by the rumor floating around that Bruce Pearl would strongly consider a Memphis offer if the money was right... DO IT!!

Pearl and Calipari are of the same mold - they are led by ego.

In Memphis he would be the toast of the town, In Knoxville Pearl plays 3rd string to Football and Pat Summit. There is no way in hell they would pay Pearl more than than Lane Kiffin or Summit.

What's the worst that could happen? He'd say no after getting a raise from UT? The very same raise that would cause the other two coaches to get raises because there is no way the 3rd fiddle could ever make more money that the other two.

So we cause UT to spend more money...

I love it - Let's do it.

Piss off Cal and Piss off Knoxville in one fell swoop of the pen.

My coaching list has changed since Anderson re-signed with Mizzou -
1. Pearl - he's the total package (I still hate him today though)
2. Still Tim Floyd
3. Still Sean Miller
4. A new one to add... Andy Kennedy.

As a bonus - Bruce Pearl would be highly accepted at the COGIC convention if he wore a blue suit.

Cal's Gone...

2009-03-31T07:30:00.001-07:00

Everything's done but the press conference. Believe it...

It's true, It's true - Kurt Angle.

I don't know a lot of people "in the know", but I will quote the hell out of the ones who do know factual information and here's how it went down:

- Cal got an offer from Kentucky, he then went to RC Johnson, the Memphis athletic director, and asked him to match it.

- Johnson then low-balled Calipari and that in turn caused Cal to say screw you.

- Next, Cal held a meeting with his players and many false reports ran rampant for the rest of the day.

- Rich Memphis boosters along with Fred Smith met with Cal last evening to convince him to stay and they matched the Kentucky offer... by this time it was too late.

Expect a press conference at the latest tomorrow... Now, my feelings about the situation:

You can't blame the guy for wanting to coach at Kentucky... It's Kentucky.

But you can be angry at the guy for the following statement:

“This is where I want to coach, and my name will be tied to every job that’s open, and our fans I think have gotten used to it.”

He said this on Friday, and met with Kentucky on Saturday.

As for the money, I've heard that he's been offered 8 yrs, 35 million. That's a lot of money for a guy whose never won a championship don't you think?

Thoughts I've had:

What kind of jerk would whore himself out for this kind of money when we're in an economical crisis?

I can think of five SEC coaches off the top of my head that would flat out expose Calipari and out-coach him at every turn. I honestly don't think it's going to be all roses at Kentucky.

If he does in fact take his prized recruits and has a bad season next year there are going to be a lot of pissed of Wildcat fans.

Other BS Crap I heard:

Cal is lobbying for Tony Barbee - for the love of God, No. The dude is close to being on the hot seat at UTEP - don't give us this bobo-ass Cal cronie...

Possible Coaching replacements:

There are three candidates in my mind and three candidates only:(In particular order)

1 - Mike Anderson - he's an ok recruiter but does more with less than any other coach out there. With his coaching ability, the name of Memphis behind him, and NBA arena it's not wrong to assume that he could roll through the conference as well. (Just not next season obviously) - And remember people, rolling through the conference plus winning a few non-conference games gets you a good seed.

2 - Tim Floyd - his basketball style is boring but he recruits as good as anyone else out there. His last four recruiting classes have included: 2006 - 3 four star recruits, 2007 - OJ Mayo, 2008 - DeMar DeRozen (the #1 overall SF), and 2009 - 5 star PF Renardo Sidney and 4 star SG Noel Johnson. With talent like that you could go undefeated in our weak ass conference.

3 - Sean Miller - the darkhorse, Xavier's head coach. He's coming off an elite 8 appearance in 2008 and a sweet 16 appearance in 2009. He can flat out coach. His recruiting ability remains to be seen but I would be curious to see how well he could do recruiting out of Memphis.

Do I want Cal to go? Of course not. Do I think he sucks now? Absolutely.

This prick has dropped a napalm bomb on the Memphis program and will raid it of its life... at least for next season.

Coming back for sure next season:

Willie Kemp, Pierre, Preston, Mack. Everyone else is iffy - I hate my life.

So that's it. My thoughts, my hopes, my dreams (gay I know).

It was a fun ride, now it's time to turn the page.

A look back at my smarts.

2009-03-12T10:21:00.000-07:00

Remember when I wrote this?

I wasn't completely right but I was still pretty freaking smart.

So instead of picking up Sabathia as predicted the Red Sox grabbed John Smoltz... you know - Cy Young Winner, eight time all-star. That guy. He was actually off to a pretty good start last season and then got hit with the injury bug. No biggie - he has run support now. I predict 15 wins.

What's even more awesome about my prediction? They paid him $14 million.

I rule.

The Sox look to be tough to beat if Smoltzy and Brad Penny play like they should.

Music-Fest Line-Up

2009-03-06T07:19:00.000-08:00

Atleast the bands worth seeing...

Friday, May 1:

The All-American Rejects - they have hits... not a fan though

Steve Miller Band - yes!

Ben Harper & Relentless 7 - Great show.

Katy Perry - Lame, but if you want to go see chicks make out just wait till' her only hit plays.

Matt Nathanson - not well known, but good

Saturday, May 2:

Al Green - Yes!

Korn - Weird, but worth seeing. Hot Topic should set up a stand by the stage.

George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic - Yes!

Shinedown - they're ok, but a Memphian is the guitarist.

Elvis Costello - Yes!

The Roots - always entertaining...

The Bar-Kays - Classic Soul

Muck Sticky - the most original group there

Sunday, May 3:

James Taylor - good, but he's a wuss

311 - seen 'em - but they don't suck

Fall Out Boy - not bad

Bonnie Raitt - legend

Snoop Dogg - This is the one I'm looking forward to. If that dude doesn't play the entire Doggystyle album it will be a crime.

Jerry Lee Lewis - "The Killer" has still got it...

Three 6 Mafia - Yes!

Amos Lee - not well known, but very good.

Pranks

2009-03-05T12:11:00.000-08:00

Follow these instructions:

Go to collegehumor.com

In the search section at the top type in "prank war".

Scroll down to the botoom and watch all the videos in sequential order.

Hilarity will ensue.

If you don't want to watch them all, then click this link.

After you watch the link, you will then follow my instructions.

Detroit = Terrible

2009-03-05T11:54:00.001-08:00

So I've been a little side tracked lately... it happens.

There's a lot of new stuff to report so I'm glad to bring my thoughts to you:

Terrell Owens has been released by the Cowboys - I know he's a cancer to the team, but the Titans could use him, and I'm ok with that. In a Cowboys related story, I will now scratch Tony Romo off the list of potential good fantasy quarterbacks.

I guess it's pretty clear that the Lions of Detroit will be drafting a quarterback this season. Dan Orslovsky - gone, Jon Kitna - gone. My guess is that they'll take a QB with the 1st pick and then spend the rest of the draft taking defensive players. Now if I were a junior in college named Mathew Stafford or Mark Sanchez and had one more year of eligibility you better believe that I'm headed back to school. Detroit = most miserable city in America.

The Memphis Tigers are now 27-3. That's pretty incredible considering the start to the season... I've said this to many people and once to guy named One-eyed Willie - they will go as far as Tyreke takes them. Only Tyreke and that's all. The rest of the team are role players. Let's look at it like this: Tyreke is Coke, Dozier and Antonio are Diet Coke, the rest of the team is Big K products. Speaking of Big K - they should make a beer. It'd be smart.

As for the Tigers tournament seed - there's no way you can give a team with 30 or more wins anything worse than a #2 seed. I want a #2 seed. If they get the #1 seed it will be the worst one and they will end up with a shitty division. If they get a #2 seed, it will be a good one and they will have an easier division.

Rumors - I heard that the next commit to the Tiger b-ball team will be at the Memphis/Tulane game tomorrow.

There's not much else to report - I'm pretty sure the Tiger football schedule will be announced soon.

PS - Never ask a guy why they call him one-eyed willie...

Three white centers... kill me now

2009-02-19T07:12:00.000-08:00

The Grizzlies need a new team slogan:

Now Imagine a guy with a real powerful voice saying these...

"Grizzlies! Send your white centers to us."

"Grizzlies! You may not be intimidated by our collection of white boys, but we stil have money."

That's right. We have too many white boys. That's weird of me to say simply because I'm white. But if you look at the state of the NBA the best players in the game are not caucasian. How long will it take before the Grizz can adapt to this?

The only reason I'm writing all this is because Memphis traded for Chris Mihm... let me repeat, Memphis traded for Chris Mihm?

I cannot think of a lesser intimidating lineup than a rotation that features Marc Gasol, Darko Milicic, and Chris Mihm. (Darko wins the toughman contest simply because he's flat out nuts).

And that's the problem with the Grizz... they adapt to the NBA's trends later than everyone else.

Think about it:

The foreign invasion - yes there are fantastic players from around the world but it's abundantly clear that you cannot win a championship building your team around a softie from Europe - (see Dirk Nowitzki)... but that didn't stop the Griz from trying with Pau... aka Dirk Nowitzki does the Peace Corps - and that's saying a lot considering Dirk is a giant weiner.

The high powered offense - After the league figured out a way to stop it they brought in Marc Iavoroni. Keep in mind that Phoenix failed at this... twice. We all saw how that worked out.

So who knows what's going to happen - maybe they'll get it right if they ever did build around OJ Mayo, but then again we're talking about a franchise here who has three 7 foot tall white centers. And other than Bill Walton and Kevin McHale teams featuring a white center never make it. Look at Rick Smits, Eric Montross, Shawn Bradley, Todd Macculloch, and finally Pau Gasol.

*Walton and McHale would not be as good if they played in today's game*

It's bright outside...

2009-02-11T08:54:00.001-08:00

We're ending each topic with a look on the bright side of things today...

Roberto Alomar has AIDS?

That's just weird... I always wondered what happened to that guy.

Were the AIDS performance enhancing? Low blow I know. It's also now being reported that he knowingly had AIDS and then had sex with his girlfriend. That's attempted murder. But look on the bright side of things. At least now he wont be getting raped in prison and will just be tossing salads. "I prefer syrup." And I'm not just sure he has AIDS, I'm HIV positive (South Park anyone as I put my hand in the air for a hi-five).

Brett Favre says he's retiring...again. I swear to Moses that if this guy hogs the media spotlight all summer again I will shoot him directly into his throwing hand from close range with an elephant gun. The bright side - we may not have to hear Tony Kornheiser talk about his love for Favre and as a bonus we won't have to see him play again.

Tigers play Tulsa tonight...shouldn't be too bad of a game, but I still don't think Memphis will lose. Tyreke will have his normal 25 and the Tigers will continue to dominate.

Speaking of the Tigers - Gonzaga game was awesome. I never realized how yellow Digger Phelps teeth were until that game:

But look on the bright side Digger...at least there's not anything out there like hi-def tv that would make it easier to spot.

Non-sports related:

Chris Brown smacked Rhianna and now it's being reported that she might need plastic surgery:

Here are some thoughts...

-She should've been smacked when she released "Disturbia".
-He probably had to tell her twice.
-Supposedly it started over a text he received...If you're that rich you should have two cell phones...rookie mistake.
-So an R & B singer/Rapper punched his girlfriend? What are you gonna tell me next - that Elvis is dead?

She needs to look on the bright side and think of the plastic surgery like getting a new car except it's her face.

I'm a genius

2009-02-06T14:18:00.000-08:00

As predicted in my last post - Coach Cal's already clearing space for his incoming badass recruits by kicking Matt Simpkins off the team.

Incoming recruits with scholarships:

Xavier Henry, Nolan Dennis, Darnell Dodson, Will Coleman

DeMarcus Cousins - maybe...
John Wall - maybe...

Outgoing players with scholarships:

Simpkins, Antonio Anderson, Robert Dozier, Jeff Robinson, Tyreke...

We need one more...My money's on Angel Garcia never making it - but my hopes and dreams are on Pierre.

Someone once told me if I tried hard enough my dreams could come true... But then again my mom's the only lady who ever told me I was a real catch. That's why I took her to prom.

T-I-G-E-R-S

2009-02-05T12:45:00.000-08:00

The Memphis Tigers kept the game closer than it should've been against SMU last night...

Here are some observations:

- Pierre Niles is a great story - the dude's just slaw, has no handles, and can't ball... stunting is not his habit and his scholarship needs to be removed faster than his consumption of malt liquor. *I thought about saying faster than his consumption of cheeseburgers - but that's old jokes*
- The Tigers are going to go as far this season as Tyreke Evans takes them...no doubt.
- Rob Sallie needs to lose the Iverson gear.
- Anderson is a valuable commodity - I still don't think he's anything special. Notice that his productivity went up as soon as Tyreke's did... he's a product of the environment. Sort of like a Kerry Collins. Sure you're going to the Pro Bowl, but do you really deserve to be there?

Another situation to address: Scholarships -

The Tigers have four signed players with the potential of adding two more... They are losing less than 6 players - meaning someone has to be cut (please be Pierre).

As for Saturday's game - Tiger's will win. Does anyone honestly think the boys in blue are scared of a bunch of white boys out of Washington. No contest.

In other news...

TJ Houshmandzadeh is wanting out of Cincy... this dude is using every minute at his disposal to make sure everyone knows he's not wanting to be there. Why would he want to stay? He hasn't committed any crimes (zing!) He'd be a good fit in Carolina, and the Pats will be in the middle of it I'm sure.

Michael Phelps...I had to address it, the rest of the world is...

He should be chastized for using his fame to get wasted and score with hot college chicks. I'm appalled.

The funny thing is that you only see a bunch dude's who can't get hot chicks, and ugly chicks bitching about Phelps. The rest of the world (including myself) nodded silently at the story and said "Well played, my friend. Well played."

And lastly...

I guess in an attempt to rekindle the football rivalry and add a little bit of friction between the two coaches Lane Kiffin called Urban Meyer a cheater... And that's exactly what one should do as an unproven coach. You have to sometimes put your balls out there and call out the defending national champ. The only way I see them becoming friends now is if one was chasing the other with a knife and his pants fell down... they would then laugh about it and have beers instead.

Out.

Stuff from all Over

2009-01-29T13:58:00.000-08:00

Stephen Curry would be a lot cooler if he went to a school that had hot chicks...

I know the kid can flat out shoot some hoops, but I've never seen anyone hotter than his mom in the stands.

As if Roger Clemens couldn't get any weirder...

It's now being reported in Joe Torre's new book that on game day Roger Clemen's would get a trainer to rub cream on his balls before games... I can't think if anything worse than having to rub cream on some jerks junk. How would you like to have that job?

The Tiger's won last night, again.

I stated when the season began they might lose 4-5 regular season game, and now I look like a genius... I still can't figure out Antonio Anderson though whether I love or hate the guy.

In Super Bowl News - I read that Edgerrin James just bought himself a celebratory Lamborghini... That makes sense - he really earned himself a new car. I wonder what he would've bought if he averaged over 3 yards a carry?

Out.

Playing Catch Up

2009-01-22T12:47:00.000-08:00

A lot of stuff has gone down in the streets since my last post... and I also must apologize for my absence...I got lazy.

Here's some things for you:

Tim Tebow - God?

I hate the Steelers - I hate Ben Roethlisberger, and I am pulling for the Cardinals so bad that it hurts... not the good tie me up and spank me hurt, but the bad it stings when I pee hurt. Let's go Cardinals - after all the Giants pulled off the 'W' last year right?

The memphis Grizzlies are blowing it... it's nobody's fault really. You can't expect any coach to win with that roster. It's pretty terrible. I guess now we can hope that the Grizz get that #1 pick - after all, the NBA's rigged and cities that have stars (Kobe), and cities that have future stars (Mayo) seem to get all the breaks. So here's a cold one to tanking it!

Memphis Tigers play UT on Saturday - of course this would be the year the Tigers win... you know, when a perfect record isn't at stake.

I have no documented proof but I have said all along that Arkansas would at best go .500 in the SEC - and the SEC blows this year.

that's all for now -

Out

Shaq Smack

2008-11-13T13:41:00.000-08:00

I'm getting back into the writing spirits... "It's true, It's true" - Kurt Angle.

Loved that guy.

So the Grizz stunk it up last night in the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
19 3-pointers? Of course that happeened to our boys... Hey Knicks, way to crush their spirits, and all the new Grizzly fans spirits.

I could hear all the new fans watching them on tv last night say, I knew it... we still suck.

Well, I guess it was fun while it lasted.

So Shaq beat down the Rockets last night... does anyone remember when Shaq started saying "Ching Chong" in an interview?

You know what's crazy? There were 7 technical fouls given out, a couple ejections, some punches, and not one of them had anything to do with Ron Artest. I guess the world might be ending after all.

Looks like the Tiger football team will be going to New Orleans or Tampa this year for a bowl... I've said in various outlets - if you're going to a shitty bowl, you might as well make a party out of it. There is one other place as notorious as Bourbon, Vegas. So I think the Tigers should go to New Orleans. End of discussion.

I got new golf shoes. Does anyone want to teach me how to hit an iron?

I'm Back

2008-11-10T09:02:00.000-08:00

With a brand new invention.

I didn't really feel like writing, but I have a lot of stuff. So here...

Grizzlies - Over the last year I became depleted of man-crushes after the Brett Favre debacle on television, and finding out that Will Smith is a closet Scientologist. But thanks to OJ Mayo my crush has been revived, and deservingly so.

There's something different about this year's team... a team full of "Change and Hope we can believe in."

I didn't expect them to beat the Nuggets last night, so I'm not mad.

Oh yeah, there's a new President by the way. I didn't vote for him, so I'm not jumping on board with him... I don't think the world is going to end either.

And... that concludes every political thing you'll ever read on here.

The Memphis Tiger football team is in bowl contention - looks like New Orleans. If you're going to a shitty bowl, it might as well be a party right?

Tommy West is still a bonehead... players on special teams are more likely to get hurt than non special teamers. But I have a great idea - let's put our starting running back and back-up running back on special teams, there's no way they'll get hurt. Wrong!! The exact opposite happened.

I can't decide if the Titans are that good or if they keep getting breaks to go their way. For example, the Bears had to play with Rex Grossman.

And finally - here's a shocking story. (sarcasm)

Go Grizz!

2008-11-03T09:27:00.000-08:00

Currently, my life is fantastic.

Tom Brady is still hurt, JP Prince is out for the next three to five weeks, and Tyler Hansborough is out indefinitely.

There's a lot of good karma going around:

Let's start with the Grizzlies...

I know that their record is 1-2, but at least now it looks like they're trying. I have said this to at least 50 people: "Maybe there is substance to the three year plan after all."

They are the Hornets of four years ago...

Some things I've noticed and said about the Grizz:
"Wow, it's nice to see a Gasol actually stand in the way when someone's trying to dunk."

"Darrell Arthur is going to be incredible, he didn't really have to try at Kansas."

"Mike Conley sucks."

On a positive note, I've had many friends speak of their rekindled love for the Grizzlies.

In other NBA news: Allen Iverson will be traded to Pistons for Chauncey Billup and Antonio McDyess... Pistons have now swung back into contention.

Memphis Tiger news:

There's a lot of speculation as to who will be committing to the Tiger's basketball for the 2009-2010 season. Let me break it down to you like this:

John Calipari would not have made that tough of a schedule for that season unless he knew he was going to have a bad ass team to compete with.

What schedule you ask?

Georgetown, Kansas, UT, Duke, Gonzaga, North Carolina, Syracuse, Ohio State, Louisville,UMass.

In college football news I think it's great Penn State is still 3rd in the BCS. Right where they need to be.

Florida Gators can beat ANYBODY right now.

And last but not least...

Here are the basketball national championship odds.

World Series Continuation

2008-10-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

Finally, I can't wait.

(I wish you could have heard the sarcasm as I thought out that sentence)

On one hand, I want Philly to lose so their fans can live in pity and destroy the city like the bunch of wild animals they are.

On the other hand, I want Philly to win so their fans can live in celebration and destroy the city like the bunch of wild animals they are.

But for serious - Philly is just plain boring. They are the San Anotnio Spurs of the MLB (the early years before all the championships).

And honestly, who cares about Tampa Bay?

Onto better things:

The NBA is back. Finally. (not sarcasm)

Derrick Rose played well, 11 points, 9 assists. That's good for a rookie... very good.

My NBA Picks:

- Clippers should surprise some folks... nice starting 5. Baron Davis, Marcus Camby, Chris Kaman (the german sensation), Cuttino Mobley, and the most under rated small forward - Al Thornton.

That's pretty solid.

But as usual it will be the same teams making it to the playoffs, but different teams playing in the conference Finals:

Hornets vs. Rockets out of the West..
Boston vs. It doesn't matter out of the East...

My gut says to actually pick the Lakers but I hate Pau Gasol so much.

The Grizz will suck, but they'll be fun.

MVP: Chris Paul (I hope)
Rookie of the Year: Derrick Rose (I'm a homer)
Coach of the Year: Dumb Award
Champion: Celtics, again.

New South Park tonight.

Out.

Happenings

2008-10-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

World Series - Still don't care, I guess I made a bad prediction. But seriously, shouldn't Philly suffer? I can't decide which city I hate worse, Detroit or Philly.

Apparently it's a big deal that they suspended the World Series game last night. I don't see a problem. TV wanted to show it, fans who made travel arrangements to get to the game wanted to see it, and there are baseball fanatics who wanted to see it (I don't know why)...
So, they tried. And failed... but tried.

As for the NFL - The Titans are still undefeated and people are raving about how much of a feat it was that they beat the Colts.

What feat? There are 3 other teams who have already beaten them. Two of which by more points.

I'm not taking anything away from the Titans... they're my favorite team. But let's be for serious here.

I'd like to give a special shout out to the St. Louis Rams for announcing Steven Jackson's "Game time decision" after kickoff. Thanks. My fantasy team appreciates it.

College Football - Looks like the National Championship game will be Penn State vs. Alabama/Texas/Texas Tech.

I'm indifferent.

Today's boring, this post probably was too.

World Series Update

2008-10-23T12:26:00.000-07:00

I still think this is the Cubs year.

My World Series Breakdown

2008-10-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

Who cares.

Tampa in 6...maybe 5.

My World series prediction:

The least watched one ever.

Tampa "fans", come on out and jump on the bandwagon. (much like the guy I saw at Buffalo Wild Wings last Thursday rocking the Ray's gear)

I wish terrible things upon anything Philly related.

Three great things

2008-10-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

1. Another new South Park episode tonight.

2. Derrick Rose's stat line from last nights game: 30 points, 7 assists.

3. This guy is my new favorite golfer: And yes, it is solely because we share the last name. I guess I'm pretty shallow like that sometimes.

F-PETA

2008-10-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

I was too busy to make picks last Friday... work comes first.

But, since my last post the following has happened:

I attended Memphis Madness and got real drunk...I highly suggest Red Rooster as a before and after party for Tiger festivities.

3 things I noticed at Memphis Madness:

1. Tyreke is good. Tyreke is really good.
2. Pierre Niles had a vertical leap... I guess that's what happens when you make the attempt to not be a fat turd anymore.
3. Shawn Taggart excited me the most (not in a gay way)... he's going to be good.

Note to self: Make sure to take in bottle caps in the event I purchase a beer... a beer for $7.50?! What the hell is up with that?

PETA has sent a letter to Shirley Raines asking her to not get a TOM III. Good thing PETA is not Mensa and didn't realize that the Highland Hundred purchases the Tiger.

The following things annoy me, and I hate PETA more:

Handicapped Parking
Whiggers... that's a close call.
Carlos Mencia
Political Celebrities
Titty-Twisters.

Elite XC is closing down.

That's funny to me.

Andre Allen

2008-10-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

Which one of these doesn't fit:

Andre Allen and Booker T. Washington High School.
Andre Allen and the Memphis Tigers.
Andre Allen and Chrichton College.

If you answered the third one, you win.

That's right, word has come down that Dre-Day Allen will be the starting point guard next season for Chrichton College.

For those of you unfamiliar with Chrichton it's a Liberal Arts Christian College... one of the premier Christian Colleges in the South.

So let me get this straight:

A man whose been arrested for picking up a prostitute, a man who has a baby out of wedlock, and a man whose been busted with drugs is going to be playing basketball for a Christian school.

*Having a baby out of wed lock is fine...as long as you don't try to go to a Christian school*

So what is he going to get his degree in? Preaching?

"Um, excuse me Reverend Allen, can you please repeat your entire sermon? Because I couldn't understand a word you just said."

I dunno, maybe I'm just making a big deal out of nothing. So good luck Chrichton College. At least this time when people are saying they pray for him to make a free throw, we know that those people are actually praying.

South Park

2008-10-15T12:31:00.000-07:00

This is what's in store for tonight:

"After she threatens to beat up Cartman after school, Wendy gets in trouble. It seems that no matter how angry Wendy is, all the bets are on Cartman. Everybody knows a girl can't fight a boy and win."

Greatest show ever.

RIP Tom II

2008-10-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

So I just got back from the Scholarship Fund Luncheon with special guest speaker John Calipari, and I cannot be more thrilled that basketball is so close.

Here is a rundown of what was said:

- Athletic Director RC Johnson spoke for a moment and said two things that are pretty awesome. There's less than 200 season tickets left for basketball, and the UofM athletic department operates off a $35 million dollar budget. Wow! I can only imagine what the budget would be if we had a revived football program.

- Women's basketball coach Melissa McFerrin spoke and basically promised all the things that first year coaches promise... wins, recruiting, conference championships, etc... Except this time I actually believe she can accomplish all those things.

- And finally, Coach Cal was poignant, entertaining, and at ease as always. There wasn't a whole lot said that I already didn't know. He did say that Willie Kemp is going to be a lot better, Pierre Niles has 20 more pounds to go, Angel Garcia and Matt Simpkins SHOULD be cleared to play...key word SHOULD, and that he expects to lose at least one conference game.

Overall, it was great success.

In sad Tiger news...

Tom II, the live Tiger mascot passed away this morning. I really will miss him...

I got this from the commercial appeal website:

A memorial is planned for the Tigers’ homecoming game against Southern Miss on Oct. 25. The Tiger Guard asks that any memorials be sent to the Highland Hundred via the Tiger Football office at 136 Athletic Office Building, Memphis, 38152.

The Conference USA preseason stuff has been released:

C-USA preseason top 5

1. Memphis

2. UAB

3. Tulsa

4. UTEP

5. Southern Miss

Preseason all-C-USA

Robert Dozier, Memphis, F, 6-9, Sr.

Stefon Jackson, UTEP, G, 6-5, Sr.

Jerome Jordan, Tulsa, C, 7-0, Jr.

Jermaine Taylor, UCF, G, 6-4, Sr.

Robert Vaden, UAB, G/F, 6-5, Sr.*

* Notes the pre-season player of the year pick... also notes the player most likely to be arrested in the last 24 hours.

Speaking of the Commercial Appeal... they wrote this as the headline for an article:

"Milicic, Gasol tested as Griz's towers of power"

If those guys are the towers of power consider me Miles Davis.
If those guys are the towers of power than the NBA is Hurricane Ike, they're Texas..
If those guys are the towers of power...

I could keep this up all day.

Two foreign white guys do not scare me as the Towers of power.
Who do they think they are, the Bash Brothers?

It looks like the most boring world series ever is going to happen.

I still think this is the Cubs year (fingers crossed extra hard for luck).

At least I didn't lose in fantasy...

2008-10-13T09:47:00.001-07:00

I can't decide.

Should I continue to support Tommy West, or should I turn against him?

On one hand, you have a coach who has been tremendous for this school and for the football program. His accomplishments are fully noted.

On the other hand, you have a guy who has really watered down the schedule and is simply getting outcoached by lesser opponents.

I'm in quite the pickle...

One more week is what he gets from me... I think that's fair, a conference game.
If they lose then the Tigers will be 1-3 in Conference USA... how sad.

So nick Saban has Alabama the #2 team now... that's impressive.

Looks like Texas might win the National Championship this year, I just don't see them losing again. And let's be honest, the SEC is a little weaker this year.

Thank God Memphis Madness is this Friday.

Speaking of Tiger basketball...

CDR scored 18 points in 4 minutes the other day in an NBA preseason game... I just thought that deserved recognition.

Famous words from Marshawn Lynch:

"whats good yb i no u aint heard from ya boi n a min but im still alive just been chillin tryin get rite for da season....if u dont no we 4-0 rite now and tryin to get 5-0...i need all da buffalo fans to keep it lit for us while we doin our thang and the non buffalo fans to jump on da ban wagon and ride dat thang FASTER...to all da beast mode (Marshawn Lynch) fans to keep dat thang lit too and check ma web page out at www.marshawn23.com....until next time hold ya chin up.....nuh nuh nuh gone "

New South Park Tonight...

2008-10-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

I know this is completely non-sports related and I'm 26 years old, but is there anything better on television than South Park?

I've actually been looking forward to it all day while sitting at work.

I guess this is what it must feel like to stand around a water cooler and talk about the evening's American Idol.

But anyways - here's the description:

After watching the opening ceremony at the Olympic Games, Cartman comes to the realization the Chinese are only days away from attacking the U.S. With the rest of the American people haunted by the memory of a recent tragic event, only Butters will stand with Cartman as he confronts the Chinese.

Butters and Cartman = Comedy at its finest.

Let's go Cubs!!

2008-10-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

So I was researching Scientology out of curiosity and boredom and came across the following:

There are 8 levels of Scientology. The only way you can get to the next level is by giving the Church a lot of money.

They believe that an evil monster put all the life forms on his planet onto golden boeing 747's and sent them to Earth to die; those hostages were then tied to volcanoes and hydrogen bombs were dropped into the same volcanoes causing their bodies to vanish but leaving their souls behind. Those souls are mad and have since inhabitted our bodies. And that's why we get emotional, angry, and sad.

I shit you not... that's what they believe.

Anyways, I know this is non-sports related but I wanted to share it.

Now - onto sports.

Redsox vs. Rays = at least two fights. This is when I miss Pedro Martinez, he would've totally instigated at least one of them. (Don Zimmer anyone).

Phillies vs. Dodgers = Boring.

I would like to see Manny vs. Boston however.

For the Manny/Jason Bay trade haters this is how it's shaping up:

Manny - 5 for 10 at the plate, .500 average, 2 hr's, 5 runs, 3 RBI's, 4 walks, 3 k's... In 3 games.
Bay - 7 for 17 at the plate, .412 average, 2 hr's, 3 runs, 5 RBI's, 2 walks, 4 k's... In 4 games.

Not a big difference. Again, I loved this trade.

I still think the Cubs have a shot. This is "their year".

NFL News...

Nothing Special. The Titans are now 5-0 against 5 times whose combined record is 6-18.

Not impressed yet.

Other news...

Kimbo Slice is a bust. Is anybody surprised? That's what happens when you hang your hat on some guy whose never fought before.

Awesome news...

Memphis Tigers have landed another basketball player for the 2009 class. Darnell Dodson. He's listed as 6'6... but he's really 6'8. This guy can play all positions except center...

And last but certainly not least - Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner's girlfriend has called it quits with Hef... I didn't think she could get any dumber.

My 100th Post

2008-10-03T07:56:00.000-07:00

"Ok, guys. We've won two games in a row. If we win tonight, its called a winning streak. It has happened before." - Major League

For some reason that part of the movie came to mind last evening as the Tiger football team have now embarked on the rare winning streak.

When I say rare, I'm not only referring to the Tigers, I'm referring to all of college football. If you constantly went on 3 game winning streaks you'd have a 9-3 record for the season... that is, if you didn't lose the first three.

So way to go Memphis. As time ticks away to the start of college basketball you've made the waiting more bearable, and for that I extend my deepest gratitude. (seriously)

As for the players... I think the offense has finally realized they're pretty damn good. Curtis Steele anyone?

In his last 3 games the stats are fantasy football early round draft worthy:

19 carries per game, 138 yards per game, 7.2 yards per carry, but only one touchdown.

Let the man score!!

Up next, Louisville. How sweet would that be to take down UAB and Louisville back to back? My life would be pretty awesome... and yes, my life does revolve around Tiger athletics.

Speaking of other awesome things in my life...

The Cubs lost, Zambrano blew it, and they are one loss away from playoff extinction.

Now the big question: Is it worse to choke at the end of regular season or blow it in the playoffs?

What curse are you going to use this time? The preacher who blessed the dugout was Greek Orthodox and not Latvian Orthodox? I guess the curse of "kavorka" is true...

That crazy Kramer and his anti-Chicago antics...

This is rediculous right?

That's my point. Cubs fans are rediculous. Why don't you just believe that you're choke artists, and get on with life.

Dear Tommy West -

I'm sorry for calling for your head, figuratively and literally. I don't know what I was thinking. The price for a hitman is way more than $7, and that's all I got in my wallet.

I ate crow for lunch and it was good. You have my support.

Sincerely - Drew

Picks for the weekend: Current record is 18-11-1.

West Virginia is favored by 14 over Rutgers. I don't know why, but I hate Rutgers... sort of like how I've always hated Rick Fox and Emile Hirsch for no reason. Take WVU.

Penn State is favored by 13.5 over Purdue. Take Penn, they are killing their opponents and Purdue just lost to Notre Dame.

UConn is favored by 7.5 at North Carolina. Take UNC - I hate UConn like I hate Kirsten Dunst for no reason...or is it because she's not hot and has a snaggletooth? You decide.

Ole Miss is favored by 2.5 over South Carolina. Take the Rebels...those boys are for real. As a side note - I have to hate the Rebels a little less because their head coach is someone that I actually don't hate. Plus, all their hot chicks are already from Memphis.

Auburn is favored by 4 over Vandy... take Auburn.

Michigan is favored by two over Illinois. Take Illinois. I also hate Rich Rodriguez for no reason.

Mizzou is favored by 11 over Nebraska. They will win by way more than 11.

Florida is favored by 25 over Arkansas. That is way too many points for SEC play.

Alabama is favored by 16 over Kentucky... they will not cover that.

And finally...

Tennessee is favored over Northern Illinois by 16. They will not cover. Down with the Vols!!

Disclaimer: I really wanted to say Snizzle-Tizzle about Kirsten Dunst's teeth but went with the traditional snaggle tooth instead.

Did anyone watch the debate last night? Yeah, me neither.

I'm back...

2008-09-30T13:36:00.000-07:00

I've been on vacation. I'll give a real good post tomorrow.

Zambra-NO!

2008-09-19T12:56:00.001-07:00

Way to follow up your no-hitter with a 1.2 inning 8 earned run shellacking. To the St. Louis Cardinals no less... wait - let me rephrase that. To MY St. Louis Cardinals no less.

This is when the downfall occurs. The curse is coming like Hurricane Ike... more Like Hurricane Leo.

To be so damn superstitious wouldn't you think the Cubs have gotten it right yet? Let's see... why don't we insult the last Cubs fan who was alive when we won the World Series...

Let's see - since the diss of mighty Leo the Cubs pitching gave up six runs last night, and currently they have given up 12 runs to the Cardinals today. (that game is still in the 6th).

I can't wait to see the demise of the Cubs. Chicago's misery = my happiness. (minus the Bears, they're ok in my book.)

In other sports news...

We haven't lost the Ryder Cup yet.

For the love of all that is holy - please Memphis Tigers win that football game on Saturday.

There's a good sports weekend coming up and there's a lot of games I'd rather be watching than attending the Memphis game. Nevertheless, I'm going anyways.

2008-09 University of Memphis Basketball Schedule

October - 17, Memphis Madness (FedExForum)

November - 4, Christian Brothers (Exhibition); 15, Fairfield; 17, UMass; 20, vs. Chattanooga (O'Reilly Auto Parts Puerto Rico Tip-Off); 21, vs. Seton Hall or Southern Cal (O'Reilly Auto Parts Puerto Rico Tip-Off); 23, vs. TBD (O'Reilly Auto Parts Puerto Rico Tip-Off).

December - 2, Marist; 13, at Georgetown; 17, Arkansas-Little Rock; 20, Syracuse; 22, Drexel; 29, Cincinnati; 31, Northeastern.

January - 3, Lamar; 7, Marshall; 10, at UCF; 13, at Tulsa; 17, UAB; 21, Rice; 24, at Tennessee; 28, at East Carolina; 31, Houston.

February - 4, at SMU; 7, at Gonzaga (ESPN Gameday); 11, Tulsa; 14, at Southern Miss; 18, SMU; 21, at UTEP; 26, at UAB; 28, Southern Miss.

March - 4, at Houston; 7, Tulane; 11-14, Conference USA Tournament (Memphis, Tenn.)

Kinda weak at home this year...

Two final things:

1. I have Hall and Oates "She's Gone" stuck in my head...
2. After the last Memphis tailgate I fully believe that French Onion Dip is really under rated.

Re-Tractment

2008-09-16T13:44:00.001-07:00

I wish I could re-do the Jake the Snake post, because I would've said:

"I guess when he pulled his pants down all they saw was a trouser snake."

Also - how is this possible?

Another Fallen Idol

2008-09-15T12:20:00.000-07:00

I still can't figure out how Georgia managed two first place votes.

I used to love this guy... I guess you could say once a drunk redneck, always a drunk redneck.

I currently hate my sports life

2008-09-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

Apparently I really suck at picking football these days... 4-4-1 over the weekend.

Ouch.

I guess you didn't lose any money.

Total record is now 18-11-1. That's still better than John Rainey.

I'm taking my bye this week, evaluating game film, and coming back strong...Like a hurricane in Texas.

As if things didn't get any worse, the Memphis Tigers lost, again. To MARSHALL. It's freaking Marshall.

A team that just moved up to Division 1 in 1997. Yeah, those guys.

Why do people keep taking up for Tommy West? I understand that he's a nice guy so we should return the favor, but if you look at the successful coaches in college football they are coaches first and nice guys second. For example: The entire SEC.

Here's how you win games: Talent.
Here's the ugly truth: Tommy West has given up on Memphis football.

There's been rumblings recently that Coach West isn't the same person since his heart surgery in February 2006. Among these rumblings it's been said that he's taking more of a laid back approach with the team.

Translation - he doesn't care as much.

To be cliche - "the proof is in the pudding."

Memphis Tigers recruitment class rankings:

2002- 60
2003- 72
2004- 62
2005- 87
2006- 73

Heart Surgery

2007- 96
2008- 88

2009 is still to be determined. I'm actually impressed with the recruits they currently have, but is that because of Tommy West or because of Tim Walton?

And please, don't give me the "Memphis facilities" arguement because ever year there is some bobo-ass team that no one ever thinks about who makes it into the top 25.

FYI - East Carolina has terrible facilites.

The most astounding stat of them all:

Without DeAngelo Williams the Tigers are 17-34 under Tommy West...yet another sign that it's all about talent. At this rate we should have about the 75th best team in the country.

So how about we do one of two things?
1. Hire Jeff Bower
2. Find a young enthusiastic coach/recruiter who can at least relate to some of these Memphis inner city kids.

Let's keep the talent at home.

More stuff to be posted later.

Weekend Picks

2008-09-12T13:20:00.001-07:00

I went drinking last night - I haven't felt like doing any extracurricular activities. This is one of them...

Here are some picks. (9 this week)

Current Record: 14-7 - That's weak...

Kansas at South Florida... Take the Jayhawks, I love their coach and they are 3.5 pts underdogs.

California at Maryland... Take Cali - Maryland is terrible. Cali is favored by 14.

East Carolina at Tulane... stay with Carolina till they lose. They are favored by 13.

UCLA at BYU... go with the Bruins - BYU is favored by 8.5

Georgia is only favored by 7 at South Carolina. Georgia will win by a lot more than 7.

Auburn is favored by 10 at Mississippi State - Auburn will win, but not by 10.

Oklahoma is favored by 21 at Washington... always bet Washington. End of story.

USC is favored by 10.5 against Ohio State... bet it. HAVE IT!

And last but certainly not least...

Marshall is favored by 3.5 over Memphis. The tigers will win, straight up.

I'm going to drink tonight.

Zach Randolph a Grizz?

2008-09-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

Read This.

I'd do it in a hot minute. Here's why:

Randolph is a proven 20 and 10 guy per game, you still get to hang onto the other two big men, and you get rid of the Marko and Darko Connection... not to be confused with the Rock-o and Sock-o connection.

There's also a possibility that the Grizz could get a first round pick, an added bonus.

As for the salaries, here's how they match up:

Darko - $7 Million in 2008-2009 ; $7.5 Million in 2009-2010

Marko - $6.5 Million in 2008-2009; $7.1 Million in 2009-2010; $7.625 Million in 2010-2011.

Randolph - $14.6 Million in 2008-2009 ; $16 Million in 2009-2010 ; 17.3 Million in 2010-2011...that's when his contract expires.

If you ask me...I like it.

If this went down, the Grizz would only have to lose $1 Million off their cap for crappy players they would've had to pay for next season, $2 Million in 2009-2010, and about $10 Million in 2010-2011...

I agree that the $10 Million seems high, but they'll have that coming off the books after that season or they could trade it for picks. But is $10 Million really that much for a 20 pts, 10 rebounds per game guy?

Look at the starting lineup:

Conley, Mayo, Gay, Randolph... other guy.

It could be worse, a lot worse.

This deserves it's own Post

2008-09-08T12:34:00.000-07:00

This was at the Texas / UTEP game and the answer is yes - she is giving him a handjob. And yes, this was on ESPN.

Thoughts that ran through my head:

Talk about a sticky situation.

With that guy being Asian I guess she had a lot of room to work with.

A bonus picture:

Fists of Fury

2008-09-08T11:56:00.000-07:00

Stay away from Hurricane Ike - I hear it's running over the islands with a strong pimp-hand.

For serious - I think of Ike Turner anytime they refer to this hurricane...

Look at Tina Turner in that picture - she looks like she just said something wrong and is in for a Nutbush beatdown.

So I didn't fare as well this weekend... 7-5 (if the over suggestion counted).

Overall record 14-7.

As for the rest of the weekend...

After losing three of his last four fights I guess it's officially time for Chuck Lidell to retire. That's what happens when you fight for ten years and your 39 years old...constant blows to the head = bad motor reflexes. Has anyone ever looked at Muhammid Ali? And that's with at least a little padding...

Chris Jericho is now the new World Champion on Raw. I guess he "saved them" right?

A letter I will write RC Johnson

Dear RC -

It's time to kick Tommy West to the curb. He's been good for the school, but you just have to let it go man, just let it go.

Signed - Tiger Fan

An e-mail I really did write:

From: DCOMPTON@*******.COM
TO: RCJOHNSON@MEMPHIS.EDU

Subject: Jeff Bower isn't coaching anywhere

Body: That's all

Sincerely - Drew Compton

As for the Memphis Tigers...

It was a great day. The weather was nice, the tailgating was fun, the beer was flowing like wine, and the game was great. Until the 4th quarter. Here are my observations:

1. Duke Calhoun - he is the best offensive player. He needs to be in the game all the time.
2. Arkelon Hall - The game wasn't his fault. He played fantastic.
3. Changing the defensive scheme in the 4th quarter when you're winning is a really dumb move.

Tommy West better take the entire blame, because it is completely his fault. When you allow the defensive scheme to change without making further adjustments, as the head coach it is your fault. Does anyone remember Jackie Sherrill's downfall at Mississippi State? He started recruiting way too many JUCO players and NEVER MADE ADJUSTMENTS.

It's also been rumored that Duke Calhoun is quitting the team. I can go ahead and put that to rest and tell you no. He's not. But he's really, really, pissed off.

As for the NFL:

DeAngelo had a great game, the Bears were surprising, and Touchdown Tom Brady is out for the year.

I wonder if Bill Belichick will be joking about Brady on the injury report this week?

In Sad news - Don Haskins, the inspiration for the movie Glory Road and the legendary basketball coach who started 5 black players in the 1966 ncaa championship has passed away... no jokes here.

Adrian Peterson might get hurt tonight.

Weekend Picks

2008-09-05T09:09:00.000-07:00

It's finally here!!

No, not Friday - I strive to not be a member of the corporate world who answers the question "How you doing this morning?" with "It's Friday!"

I'm talking about the first Memphis Tiger homegame... a guilty pleasure, I guess. A painful pleasure, definitely...

I can't believe the line on that game is only 3 points.

I repeat, 3 points!

You know your football program starts to take a turn for the worse when you are favored against Rice by only 3 points. This is freakin Rice!

I remember a time when I would play college football on the original playstation and my friends and I would talk trash about who the better player was...so one day we decided that the best way to determine skill was to pick the two worst teams on the game... one of those teams was always Rice.

Have we stooped to that level?

If Tommy loses Saturday I'm going to start campaigning for Jeff Bower... who is Jeff Bower you ask?

The former coach for Southern Miss who has only 2 losing seasons in 17 years, 14 consecutive winning seasons, 10 bowls out of the last 11 years, and 4 conference championships. By the way, he's not coaching anywhere.

So there's my rant...

My weekend picks: (eleven games this week to make up for a no-line game I gave to you) - My Current record sits at 7-2.

BYU favored by 9 at Washington... take Washington - They seem to always pull the upsets in football and basketball alike.

Oklahoma favored by 21 over Cincinatti... take Cincy - I can't buy into Oklahoma.

Wake Forest favored by 8 over Ole Miss... take Ole Miss - better talent and better coach.

West Virginia favored by 9.5 over East Carolina... take East Carolina - they will look to crack the top 25.

Pittsburgh favored by 13 over Buffalo... take Pitt - it's freaking Buffalo.

Arkansas favored by 12.5 over NE Lousiana... take Arkansas - they have to make a statement.

Penn State favored by 15 over Oregon State... take Penn State - A west coast offense with a bad defense vs. an awesome defense with a decent offense.

Georgia is favored by 24 over Central Michigan... Take Central Michigan - they're not bad, Georgia's banged up.

South Florida is favored by 13.5 against Central Florida... Take Central Florida - the game will be much closer then that.

Alabama is favored by 30 over Tulane... Alabama will win by way more than 30.

And Last but not least...

Memphis favored by 3 over Rice. Take Memphis - I'm picking with my heart. (a smart man would bet the over... 66)

Go make them dollas...

Chairmen of the BORED!!

2008-09-04T19:35:00.000-07:00

I guess I was wrong about the Redskins/Giants... Man, what a snooze fest!

Is it just me or does Tom Coughlin look like he's been outside in a blizzard for two hours?

Tonight!

2008-09-04T09:07:00.001-07:00

Finally! The NFL has come back to television! (wrestling reference)

The super Bowl champs vs the Redskins - and what a great way to start!

This is a nice matchup between two division rivals and my personal opinion is that the Redskins might actually pull away with the victory. Look for Chris Cooley to score early and Jason Campbell to play lights out. It's true, It's true. (wrestling reference)

But now... (drumroll)

These are my picks for the division winners, etc...

AFC South: Indianapolis
AFC North: Pittsburgh
AFC East: New England
AFC West: San Diego

Wild Card: Jacksonville, NY Jets

AFC Champ: Indy

NFC South: New Orleans
NFC North: Green Bay
NFC East: Dallas
NFC West: Seattle

Wild Card: Philly, Tampa Bay

NFC Champ: Dallas

Super Bowl Champ: Dallas, and Tony Romo's huge nose. Have you ever seen that thing?

MVP Awards:

Offense: Brian Westbrook - call me crazy now but that dude will play a full season and amass about 2400 combined yards.

Also considered: LT, Drew Brees, Tony Romo, and Steven Jackson

Defense: Mario Williams

Also Considered: Jared Allen, Jonathan Vilma, Patrick Willis

Rookie Offense: Matt Forte

Also Considered: Kevin Smith

Rookie Defense: Jarrod Mayo

Also Considered: Vernon Gholston

Comeback player of the year: Ricky Williams

Also Considered: Kurt Warner

Coach: Sean Payton

So there you have it. Go ahead and start putting the money down on all these and thank me next year.

Also...

Check out the new show "Sons of Anarchy" - awesome premier.

I also caught Sarah Palin's speech last night, it was pretty good. I like her.

"In my final meeting with the gods from the heavens above, as they spoke to me and hit me with the power of the Ultimate Warrior, they told me 'Exit stage left! Exit stage right! There is no place to run; all the fuses in the exit signs have been burned out!'" - The Ultimate Warrior said that in an interview once...

Cubs suck

2008-09-03T10:06:00.000-07:00

I have to call myself out.

I watched the premier of the new 90210 last night and I have no remorse or excuse for it... I simply wanted to see it. The plus side is that the girls are way hotter on this one. I guess Aaron Spelling wasn't forced to cast his own daughter since he really isn't alive anymore and there is no lead actress who looks like Shannen Daugherty... (although Shannen does make a cameo). That's all I have to say about that, I just needed to get that out there before others do. Below is a pic of the new chics...

The Cubs will not win the World Series. I don't care what anyone thinks. They've dropped four in a row, Zambrano is getting his arm looked at, Rich Harden's next start has been pushed back another week, and Fukudome is nowhere to be found... (metaphorically speaking). If I was a millionaire I would pay a huge amount of money for the seat that Steve Bartman occupied during the infamous Cubs foul ball incident. I would then pay Steve Bartman a large amount of money to sit in that seat during the playoffs. Hilarity would ensue.

In NFL News...

As a result of Rudi Johnson signing with the Lions, Tatum Bell has been released. This doesn't make any sense for two reasons:
1. The starter in Detroit is a rookie.
2. Rudi is still not 100% healthy.

The funny thing in all this is that Tatum reacted exactly how I would've...

UFC-91 main event has been set: Randy Couture vs. Brock Lesnar. If Lesnar wins, this will go over huge for UFC... I can't wait to see these two massive guys throw punches at one another. My girlfriend will hate me that night because she will be ignored.

NFL post tomorrow - one day!

I'm still mourning the Tigers.

2008-09-02T11:56:00.000-07:00

I really wish I could've had a reason to update this over the weekend (Tigers.)

How disappointing.

I don't know why I didn't see it before, but if you return a secondary that did terrible last year how can anyone expect them to be good this year?

I know that this is only the first game, but, four losses in a row now to Ole Miss. Four!?

At some point a coaching change needs to take place.

Go ahead and make the arguement "But Tommy West has taken them to a bowl four out of the last five years." This is true, but going to the crappiest bowl every year is the equivolent of going to the NIT every year. Nobody cares.

I for one am no longer on the Tommy West bandwagon and it's only a matter of time before many others start to jump off.

In better news...

Tennessee really blew it. If you can't beat UCLA's 3rd string quarterback then you need to go a ahead and forfeit the season... actually, if any team cannot beat another team's 3rd string quarterback they should also forfeit the entire season.

Alabama was the most impressive team by far... no contest.

If any of you reading this took my advice and picked the teams I told you to pick then you would be 7-2. (BYU didn't have a line).

I know that the team I picked to win lost in several of these, but I said to play the spread.

Now, I'll give some more on Friday.

Weekend Picks and stuff...

2008-08-29T09:14:00.000-07:00

This will be my last post before the holiday weekend hits unless the following happens:

John Calipari retires.
The Grizz trade their whole team.
The Cardinals bullpen doesn't blow it.
The Tiger football team wins. (in that case it will be a short post until Tuesday.)

So here goes nothing...

It was cool to see football on tv last night, atleast it gave everyone in the world something else to do since all the major networks were filled with political crap.

If one of the major 3 networks would've thought about it, they could've put on a football game and had way better ratings.

Does anyone honestly know somebody under the age of 60 who watches political conventions? Even then, if they are over the age of 60 they only get to see it until bedtime...8 pm.

As for political news today I'm going to break it down like this:

People have already decided who they were voting for long before running mates were selected. End of story.

As for my personal thoughts - picking a woman as your VP is strategically very smart considering the other candidate running is a minority himself... so take from it whatever you want. I don't care. My life doesn't revolve aroud bashing candidates. Instead, I will start bashing celebrities who feel they are smart and political like. Be prepared for that...

Now...

Onto cool stuff.

Chad Johnson officially changed his last name to Ocho Cinco. That's hilarious.

That's about all the cool stuff.

Onto my picks...

You will get ten games per week: Mostly top 25 games...Bet the lines.

Florida over Hawaii
ECU over Virginia Tech... but Va Tech still winning.
West Virginia over Villanova.
Virginia over USC... but USC still winning.
BYU over Northern Iowa.
Alabama over Clemson.
Missouri over Illinois... just beating the spread.
Tennessee way over UCLA.
Bowling Green over Pitt... with Pitt barely winning.

And last but certainly not least.

Ole Miss over Memphis... the line's at 8.5 - A better coach with better talent at home is equivalent to at least 10 points.

It hurt's me to admit that.

Let's go Tigers anyway. Prove me wrong.

Have a safe soda filled weekend.

Babe Alert

2008-08-29T09:10:00.001-07:00

This is Sarah Palin, the governor of Alaska and the new running mate for John McCain.

Genius!

Not only is she a minority (running against a minority) but she's hot. Senator McCain, I say well played sir. Well played indeed.

Kimbo Slice = Weak Sauce

2008-08-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

I hope by now you have heard the story about the banned little-leaguer...

If not, here's a link.

Imagine that... it happened in New Haven, Connecticut. This wouldn't fly anywhere other than somewhere way North.

The worst paragraph of that article:

"The fighting started this week when Coach Wilfred Vidro refused a directive by league officials to replace 9-year-old pitcher Jericho Scott, whose pitching they say is so hard, fast and accurate that it might frighten or discourage other players."

Discourage other players!

Advice to everyone out there: If your kid is afraid of a 40mph fastball then he needs to strike out, get discouraged, fully know that he sucks, and then find another sport.

What kind of a wussy parent are you to tell your kid not to play because the pitchers throwing too hard?

And 40mph? That's not that hard. I remember going to the Memphis Chicks games and throwing at least 40 when I was 9 years old.

This is why I hate Connecticut. When I think of that state the only thing that comes to mind is women's basketball and now scared little leaguers. Connecticut gets my vote for gayest state.

In other news...

Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock... wow - way to really show your tough side Kimbo. Ken Shamrock is 44, has fought 41 career fights, and lost 8 of his last 10... 6 of those were 1st round knockouts.

Kimbo Slice must suck.

In good news...

The Memphis Tigers have signed C.J. Henry for next season... he's the brother of Xavier Henry (a top prospect) and he will play a little bit next season and will eventually fade into oblivion once Xavier Henry joins the program. Cal's a recruiting genius.

So Jay Mariotti has left the Chicago Sun Times... Good. He's a huge nerd...

But this is what the editor in Chief had to say:

"We wish Jay well and will miss him -- not personally, of course -- but in the sense of noticing he is no longer here, at least for a few days."

That's highly amusing.

The Cliff Clavin Buffalo Theory

2008-08-26T19:21:00.000-07:00

I understand this is not sports related, but this is hilarious.

Cheers is one of the greatest shows of all time and this is by far one of the greatest things ever said on national television...

“Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

That could not be any more true.

Giant Douche is better...

2008-08-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

Did anybody else find it ironic that South Park was airing the Giant Douche vs. Turd Sandwich episode during the democratic party crap last night?

I thought it was hilarious...

Let me re-cap the episode for you because I watched that with a combination Monday Night Raw instead...

Basically they had to vote on a new school mascot and the two leading choices were a giant douche or a turd sandwich and the town was split...

The moral of the story was that even though the candidates always end up being a giant douche or a turd sandwich, you should vote. Which is pretty relevant to today...

Andrew Watson sent me this, I thought it was blog-worthy...

My fantasy draft concluded on Sunday and I landed the following... (starters)

Drew Brees - will throw at least 30 td's.
Steven Jackson - I'm hoping he has a 2,000 all purpose yard season and 20 td's...it's possible.
Earnest Graham - I dunno what to think.
Calvin Johnson - Yes!
Chad Johnson - sucks he's hurt now.
Vernon Davis - have you ever heard the theory abour 3rd year wide receivers? Same will apply to him.
Kevin Smith - (flex option player) - I'd rather have a guy who will get at least 20 touches a game than a receiver as the flex option.
Adam Venatiere - I still can't spell his name.
Seahawks defense... they rule.

On the bench I have Chester Taylor... just in case.

"I like it a lot" - Lloyd Christmas.

2008-08-25T19:59:00.001-07:00

At least it wasn't a Cuban Necktie...

2008-08-23T15:53:00.000-07:00

This is great! Cuban kicks referee for sucking...

Disclaimer: This video's in French... my deepest apologies.

USA, USA, USA...

2008-08-22T12:21:00.000-07:00

Lately I've heard this:

"Can the Redeem Team beat the Dream Team?"

And here is my response:

"I don't know."

It's pretty simple really.

LeBron, Kobe, D-Wade, Chris Paul... that's pretty awesome.

Jordan, Bird, Barkley, Drexler... also pretty awesome.

You may think I'm an idiot for saying that it's too hard to tell. But I honestly don't know. The arguement that I hear the most in support of the Dream Team is how they crushed their opponents by 50 ppg, and that the Redeem hasn't.

That was also 16 years ago when the only country who even tried to play basketball then was the United States...

Seriously, the only people I can think of who were foreign and in the NBA in 1992 are Detlef Shrempf, Vlade Divac, Hakeem Olajuwon, and Minute Bol.

But today, I can name 30 off the top of my head.

So the competition is tougher, a lot tougher.

In conclusion, you can't compare the two teams. Take this current team and put them in 1992 while they are in their prime and you'd have the same results.

As a side note: They kicked Argentina's ass today and play on Sunday...against Spain. HA!

The Dream/Redeem Team... more like the Cream Team's because that's what they do to their opponents.

In other news...

Penny Hardaway rules. No, not for sinking the game winning shot against Arkansas and not for Taking the Tigers deep into the Tourney. But for donating $1 Million dollars to the school for a new sports Hall of Fame. This would be a great recruiting tool.

1st three inductees should be: Penny, DeAngelo, Isaac Bruce.

John Wall, the top basketball player in the 2009 class has narrowed his decision down to three - Memphis, Oregon, Baylor. What doesn't look right here?

And finally...

I've heard rumors that the Pyramid/ Bass Pro Shops deal has finally gone down.

Good. Now the North end of downtown will start to see a makeover.

Let's go Cardinals, Let's go Tigers.

One week until the Ole Miss/Memphis game...

USA, USA, USA...

Katy Perry

2008-08-21T12:54:00.001-07:00

No wonder she kisses girls and likes it... What dude would want to make out with this fugly cross eyed hoe?

The other joke I could make would be...

I wouldn't kiss her, but I'd kiss her boobs. And like it.

My Fantasy Team Name

2008-08-21T07:11:00.000-07:00

So after a good ten minutes of thinking about what my teams name should be I finally came to a conclusion last evening...

First Down Syndrome.

It's wrong, but it's so wrong it's right.

Also in consideration were the following:

- The Vaginas
- The R-Kelly Sex Machines
- Banana Hammock Lollipops (suggested by Taylor Sargent)
- Disney
- S-TD's
- McNabby Headed Hoes

Thanks and have a bless-ed day.

I'm a no-good slacker.

2008-08-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

There's a male porn-star who goes by the name Arnold Schwartzenpecker. I find that to be hilarious.

Dear Blog,

I understand that I haven't been showing the love you rightfully deserve, but things are going to change baby. You just wait and see. I'm like Cee on G's to Gents, I'm really trying.

Sincerely - Drew

This is going to be the Ultimate Fantasy football showdown, throwdown, get down, lay down...(just the tip) preview:

Not really... but here are some things you should know if you are a first time player or a seasoned veteran:

1. Have a hilarious team name... Right now I'm teetering between "The Vaginas" or the "R-Kelly Sex Machine's"... Of course I'm always open to suggestions.

2. If you can't have a top 5 running back in the first round have a top 5 receiver or Top 3 Quarterback...
It's true - The top 5 receiver's in yards averaged almost 1450 yards receiving and 13 Touchdowns... on the flip side - The top 5 running backs averaged 1350 yards rushing and 9 touchdowns - (this does exclude yards receiving)

3. Follow the draft trends (kind of) - If Tight ends start to come off the board, grab a tight end if it's one of the top 5. If not get someone better. Duh.

4. Do not take a kicker early. You will get laughed at, then you will feel like a dumbass.

Sleepers: Donovan McNabb - I know he's old, but he's still a sleeper you can grab pretty late.

Thomas Jones - revamped O-line,

Reggie Brown - if McNabb is healthy that's the go-to-guy.

Busts: Derek Anderson. Really? Derek Anderson?

Edgerrin James... he's got old balls.

Ernest Graham. Cadillac Williams is almost healthy.

In other news...

Usian Bolt kicks Ass. That dude should put on pads and run deep routes.

I hate China. Why are they so good at the Olympics this year? Oh yeah, forgot - because it's held in a Communist country! Does anyone know what that means? It means they can do whatever the hell they want, such as tell a judge that they will Karate chop him/her in the throat and then wax-on wax-off their face.

Anquan Boldin wants to be traded - he'd be a good fit on the Titans.

College football is so close... I can almost taste the half whiskey half coke drinks...

I can also almost taste the full whiskey no coke drinks that happen 2 hours later.

I'm out... next post will be the greatest thing ever.

My Olympic Coverage

2008-08-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

Here are my observations since last Friday... (the opening ceremonies)

Michael Phelps might be a nerd.

I could make Alicia Sacra-mone all night long...

Thank God Equestrian is over.

Beach Volleyball should be on tv all the time. They should have their own channel. Hopefully it would then sweep the nation like the Tae-Bo craze and all women would have beach volleyball bodies.

China totally faked a ton of different things at the opening ceremony... Read this. And This. And This... Imagine that, a Communist country lying. They rule with iron fists!

They should really reconsider synchronized Olympic diving.

Paraguay has the hottest chick there... her name's Laryn Franco and she throws javelin.

Now I won't make the obvious long pole/javelin joke and say that she can throw mine anytime. I'm original. So go ahead and look at this photo, it's brand SPANKING new.

The Men's basketball team is playing like they have purpose.

This is still hilarious.

Finally track and field is starting...

Another guy lost his medal for juicing... his sport of choice: Shooting.

This dude is a total badass. I love this guy.

That's about it on the Olympics. It's been kind of lame.

Let's go Cardinals. Let's go Grizzlies. Way to go Tigers... you landed another commit for next years class. Will Coleman. A Joey Dorsey type player.

Update coming on Sunday...

Biazzaro World for Brett...

2008-08-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

It has finally happened. The world is going to end. Brett Favre to New York, and no, not the Giants. (The team you immediately think of when you think of New York football) But the Jets.

I could not be more happy for many reasons... one of which makes me a loser.

1. We don't have to hear about Brett and Green Bay anymore. Now it will be about Brett and New York. At least it's a fresh topic.
2. Laveraneus Coles and Jerrich Cotchery will now have fantasy value... I can't believe I've mentioned that again today.

The Jets will go somewhere around 10-6 on the season. They have a pretty easy schedule but will still get steamrolled by the Pats, as most teams will.

My team name this year for Fantasy Football is the R. Kelly Sex Machine's - I like it. But am more than willing to take suggestions.

In other news...

The US Men's soccer team dropped an atomic bomb on Japan today by defeating them 1-0. Japan takes their soccer serious, so I'm predicting that they will have a ceremony, commit sucide, and die with honor for disgracing their family. It's just a theory.

I hate Jason Isringhausen. There's not a nice way to put it. How is this guy still getting paid? My dad and I have watched the Cardinals in disbelief all season long trying to figure out how they have won so many games, and now trying to figure out that crappy bullpen... I'm going to have a stroke at the age of 26 if I have to watch Jason Isringhausen throw another pitch.

Here's a funny article.

It's finally over... and it's finally here!!

2008-08-06T11:58:00.000-07:00

Brett Favre - the story is coming to a close, thank God.

He'll either end up in New York or in Tampa.

I think Tampa has a better team, but New York has a far easier schedule. Brett in New York could be good... it would be like Green Acres in reverse.

Or, for you comic book nerds, New York is the bizarro world for Green Bay. (Superman)

I think I like Brett as a person once again. And I'll really like Jerricho Cotchery / Laveraneus Coles for my fantasy football team. (Now I'm the nerd)

I wonder what happened in Green Bay?

In better news...

Football is finally here!! The Hall of Fame game pretty much sucked but it was still cool to see the NFL on TV once again...

College football is even closer.

With the release of the first coaches poll I was hoping that my Memphis tigers would receive at least one vote... that didn't happen. You know, the list they give you after the top 25 is listed about which teams received a vote. Don't they at least deserve one? Eh, maybe I'm just a generous homer.

Speaking of the coaches poll though, Georgia is #1. They should be. Ohio State should not be near the top 10 with that terrible showing once again in the BCS Title game. Those boys need to earn it. I don't like it. In fact, I hate it.
Surprisingly, Florida State or Louisville are no where to be found in the top 25.

Other things noticed in the top 25:

- How is Boston College getting votes? You were over rated with Matt Ryan, and now you don't even have him.
- West Virginia... Noel Devine will be the nations leading rusher.
- Missouri - will be very, very good.
- Tulsa got one vote. Conference USA in the house!!!

Regarding the Memphis Tigers...

Nothing will happen. Does anyone realize how much FEDEX does for the NCAA? It's dumb anyways. The man called his employee. Granted, it was shady, but he can call her whenever he wants.

Former shortest player in the league Earl Boykins has now become the seventh NBA player to leave for Europe. Rumor has it that J-Will could be on the way too...
Not that Earl is that awesome to begin with, but it still affects the NBA.
Europe's going to keep picking up these mid-level talents until somebody big heads that way... then we're screwed.

Other players gone: Carlos Arroyo (not bad), Carlos Delfino (sucks), Juan Carlos Navarro (not bad), Jorge Garbajosa (sucks), Nenad Krstic (good), and Josh Childress (good).

Again, that's how a bad economy will reflect sports. The Euro is 1.5 times worth more than the dollar so they don't have to give up as much.

And last but certainly least... The olympics are starting Saturday. (Opening ceremony Friday)

I could not be less enthused.

All I'm going to watch are the dude events. (Insert Gay Joke if you want)

But it's not because I'm gay. I like boobs. Lot's of boobs.

It's because I am not impressed with seeing some chick run the 400 meter sprint in 50 seconds when some dude can do it 45. I only watch the best at particular events. (See the WNBA vs. the NBA).

Except for swimming... Amanda Beard is hot.

But even then, I'm watching just to look at Amanda Beard.

This is funny though...

I'm sure by now you've heard about the terrible smog and air in Beijing.

Well, one of the US Men's cycling teams had to aplogize for putting on air masks while they were in the airport. Hilarious.

Boston Should be Happy...

2008-08-01T08:07:00.001-07:00

It's True. It's True. - Kurt Angle

So let me get this straight.

You lost a guy who is an attention whore at it's finest; a guy who is unpredictable; and a guy who is making $20 million.

You gain a guy who is a teammate in every sense of the word; a guy who NEVER gives up; and a guy who is making $6 million.

I love this trade. Manny Ramirez for Jason Bay... I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I must be in the minority on this because Boston is a huge winner in all the late season transactions. Does anyone realize what the outcome will be now? I'm here to tell you...

Stats:

Manny - .299 batting average, 20 Homeruns, 68 RBI's, 66 Runs scored, $20 million salary, 36 years old.

Bay - .282 batting average, 22 Homeruns, 64 RBI's, 72 Runs scored, $6 million salary, 29 years old.

The numbers are even more similar when you look at all the stupid crap analysts like to delve into:

On Base Percentage:
Manny - .398
Bay - .375

Walks:
Manny - 52
Bay - 59

Strike Outs:
Manny - 86
Bay - 86

Again, I think it's a fantastic trade.

Why? Because the Red Sox will now have $14 millions to spend on free agency after the season... Whose going to be a free agent? CeCe Sabathia.

That's right - my bold prediction. CeCe to the Sox. Makes sense doesn't it?

I also understand that the Redsox gave up two prospects along with Manny, but look at it like this. They're unproven. They would not give up prospects unless they had other prospects at that same position.

Now, go back and look at Bay's numbers. He did that for the PIRATES. How many RBI opportunities can you really get with the Pirates? He'll have plenty more with the Redsox. Way to go Theo Epstein! You continually make your team better.

Also - Read This

I've got a lot to talk about...

2008-07-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

"Hey Ron, we should go to Memphis sometime and kick it at this place called the Plush Club."

That's a conversation between Joey Dorsey and Ron Artest that will happen now that big Ron is going to the Rockets.

Does anyone else see the possible negativity that could occur if someone was to set Joey or Ron off?

1 - I feel sorry for the guy who decides to fight them.

And...

2- The fight in Detroit will be nothing compared to this.

I must also add that the Rockets are going to be really good now with the addition of Artest, especially defensively.

Battier = good defender
Dorsey = good defensive rebounder
Yao = He's freakin' seven feet tall.
Artest = known for defense.
T-Mac = good all around game.

Also, in NBA related news, the betting referee has been sentenced to 15 months in prison. HA! (insert prison joke here)

The over/under for molestation is 75 times.

Also, Paul Pierce had this to say to a reporter:

Q: Is Kobe really the best player in the world? Pierce: I don't think Kobe is the best player. I'm the best player. There's a line that separates having confidence and being conceited. I don't cross that line but I have a lot of confidence in myself.

Really Paul!? Dude, you aren't even the best player on your team. I wonder if those comments will anger Kevin "certified" Garnett, because KG is certifiably better than PP.

I also think LeBron James, Chris Paul, Tim Duncan, Dwyane Wade, and of course Kobe would disagree. Link to that.

Gilbert Arenas has a million dollar pool. Seriously. It would've been $2 million but he had to take that damn paycut "for the sake of the team."

Bobcats managed to hang onto Emeka Okafer for 6 years 72 million. That's all? We payed Pau how much? And we can't give this guy that much?

Now, to the MLB -

Big trade last night as the Angles landed Mark Texeira. They already have the best record in baseball and now added a great and underrated bat to their lineup. Nice move Anaheim.

The St. Louis Cardinals play the Brewers two more times this season and the Cubs 9 more times... looks like the Wild Card is definitely coming out of the NL Central.
Good news for my favorite team in baseball - Chris Carpenter is starting tonight!

The Cards, Brewers, and Cubs, have a better record than all other national league teams.

Speaking of the Cubs - this was in the Chicago Tribune:

McHenry County authorities say three Chicago Cubs fans face felony battery charges after allegedly beating a Chicago White Sox fan so badly he lost his right eye. The men are accused of beating 32-year-old Robert Steele of Gurnee during a 2-year-old girl's Sesame Street-themed birthday party. Police said Monday the men were drinking alcohol at the July 19th party and taunting Steele.

The good news is that his Sammy Davis Jr. impression just got a lot better.

In other MLB news -

Ichiro had hit #3000 last night for his career (this includes Japan) - still impressive though.

Deep thoughts:

Why have I never heard anyone call Tim Tebow - Tim Teabag?

Favre signed his letter of intent to return to the NFL. Great, now we get to see more Sportscenter about whether or not he will start.

Valdosta, GA is the new Titletown. This makes absolutely no sense. Why would you take that name away from the city who calls itself that? You know, Florida is the Sunshine State but it's been real sunny in Tennessee lately. We are now officially the new Sunshine State. And p.s. - Valdosta, GA is lame.

New rumor: Angle Garcia is too stupid to even play at Memphis and will be attending Wabash Valley Junior College... wow, that sucks. I hope Pierre keeps dropping weight because we are going to definitely need the fat turd now.

And last but certainly not least...

This is the Harper Family... they were the benefactors of a lot of free crap from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Why are they relevant? After receiving a free $450,000 Home, $250,000 in tax-free cash, and three fully paid college tuitions for their children - they are being foreclosed on. Only in America. (insert curse words here)

You give me all those things and I am good for the rest of my life.

Worst part of the year...

2008-07-24T11:04:00.001-07:00

It's true. The only thing on television right now is baseball, and in all honesty baseball gets pretty boring.

So - I'm going to give you a buffet style of thoughts...

Baseball - mmmm

CeCe Sabathia is on a tear. "That trade is starting to look good" everyone says, that is until the end of the season when CeCe chases the money (contract year) and goes somewhere else, while the lowly Brewers will have nothing to show for it. Including lost prospects.

More interesting - the Cubs could still win the division and the Cardinals have Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainright returning in August... so what if the Cards land the Wild Card spot and the Brewers end up in 3rd?

Basketball - meaty...

Josh Childress going over seas? Actually makes sense... the EURO is worth almost twice as much as the dollar - and life is all about the benjamins... see - that's how the economy will affect sports.

Golf - needs more garlic...

So what!? Greg Norman choked. I guess his yacht, private plane, and $500 million dollar fortune are really feeling the after shock... I wouldn't call a 3rd place prize of $300,000 choking.

In other golf news, I watched NONE of the British Open because I don't care about golf anymore until Tiger returns.

Football - over-done (cough cough, Brett Favre)

I'm sick of that guy. I bet Aaron Rodgers wants to Ray Finkle him... and you know what? I'm ok with that.
So let me get this straight - Brett went out of his way and contacted the Vikings with a phone issued to him by the Packers? How is that the Vikings fault? They didn't contact him.

Shockey to the Saints = better offense... which = Brees as an MVP candidate.
Jason Taylor to the Redskins = good defense... which = playoffs.

In college news - people are making a big deal over Caleb Campbell being told to fulfill his duty to the army until 2010... I know, it was a feel good story that the army was going to let him play in the NFL, but I don't feel bad for the guy. He shouldn't have made a promise to the country to be a soldier if he had enough talent to get paid for football... it's just like when someone bitches about soldiers going over seas. What do you think they signed up for? A day at the zoo?

Also - it's been reported that Phil Fulmer's been subpenoed. HA!

And lastly for dessert...

The chick fight in the WNBA - amazing no ones really talking about it today. When the dude's fight that's all you hear about. Way to remain irrelevant WNBA!

Rampage in Hollywood... literally

2008-07-17T10:58:00.001-07:00

I wonder how Quentin Jackson earned the name "Rampage"? I guess I always figured it was because he would metaphorically go on a "rampage" during his fights and wrestling matches back in the day... Given recent events, however, I'm going to figure that it's because he's a nut. (I hope he's not reading this)

Could you tell he was from Memphis in the arrest pictures?

Now, go back and read that question in a sarcastic tone and I'll explain to you why it's pretty obvious (not that there's much explanation needed).

1. Tricked out truck.
2. Tricked out truck with huge rims.
3. Tricked out truck with huge rims and a picture of himself on it.

No more explanation needed.

Jackson had another run-in on Wednesday with police.

You have to be one giant a-hole if your team mates won't come to your party...

That's right. A-Rod had an All-Star party last evening and not one of his fellow Yankees decided to show, instead they attended Derek Jeter's bash... Even Better, some attended David Wright's party. The same David Wright who plays 3rd base for the cross town rival New York Mets. This is a hilarious picture... and yes, those are cut-outs of Madonna.

The new Brett Favre news... (I'm starting to hate this guy)
If you haven't heard the Viking's are getting charged with "tampering" for making contact with Favre about possibly playing there next season. So you're telling me that the Viking's think there's a better QB out there than Tavaris Jackson? (sarcasm)

I say let him go wherever he wants, it's clear that the Packers aren't going to start him.

If Brett ends up in Minnesota I hear they are planning a real nice party on a yacht featuring strippers and drugs. That's something they are apparently real good at and a game they can't lose.

Why is it that the Denver Nuggets aren't catching any grief over trading Marcus Camby for a Nintendo Wii but the Grizz caught all kinds of hell for the Pau trade? At least the Grizzlies got something in return..

Joey Dorsey had 8 points and 14 rebounds in his first summer league game... In Memphis fashion he also had 6 fouls, and went 0-6 behind the free throw line. But here's a great Picture of him...

Football season = Trash talking at it's finest

2008-07-15T10:15:00.000-07:00

Check out this blog

Really? You're taking the time as an Ole Miss fan to blast Memphis? I guess they didn't get the memo that as an SEC school talking trash to a C-USA school is equivolent to picking fights with your step brother's little friends... that still means you suck and the only reason you do it is because there are much cooler people out there kicking your ass (see the entire SEC)... or if you want to go conferences, see the Pac-10 (the conference with the most national championships).

*see disclaimer at the the end*

This Ole-Miss blog - which I admit as a fellow blogger is well written... but, as a tiger fan I have to continue my rant...

The writer uses memphistigers.org as material for his rebuttal... and that's fine. But this website is the upper echelon and the elite of the die-hard Tiger fans, of course they are going to over analyze everything about your team and admittedly say things sometimes that seem far fetched. But these are the people who will follow the Tiger's no matter what. Much like some die-hard Rebel fans who believed that Coach 'O' was going to lead them to BCS glory - how'd that work out for you?

Most of the writer's points are accurate as he did something that most people don't do - research.

But that still doesn't negate the fact that this guy took the time to do that research on a team that Ole Miss fans feel is beneath them.

As for the team itself - they have a lot of good talent and a proven coach. But don't get your hopes up yet Rebels about a freshman running back. He's unproven and will be running against BETTER teams. If you want to win, you need to throw to those receivers and throw the ball a lot.

My predictions for the Rebels/Tigers game:

The grove will consist of Pink Seersucker suits, Pink Pants, Neon sunglasses straps, Hot chicks who are originally from Memphis but attend Ole Miss, me getting laughed at for wearing cargo shorts... that's a true story. This guy wearing a suit in 90 degree weather with pit stains on his jacket made it a point to laugh at me the last game in Oxford... makes sense right. And I'm the uneducated Memphis graduate...

Imagine if Matt jones had attended Ole Miss - he would've overdosed at least six times by the end of freshman year.

*Disclaimer - I don't believe the Pac-10 is the best conference in the country, however, they have the most combined national championships and that has to count for something.*

Josh Hamilton is real smart

2008-07-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

Way to go Josh Hamilton.

You're name will forever be etched into All-Star weekend for winning this years homerun derby by a landmark...

That'd be cool if it was true, instead, he showed why he's lacked in judgement basically his whole life by hitting about 20 more homeruns than he should've in the first round... granted, it was impressive, but I still think the guy looks like a dumbass for wearing himself out.

Couldn't you have just hit 10 in each round Josh?

Speaking of Coke addictions I still can't get the laughter out of my system (the same way Matt Jones can't get the coke out of his system) at the thought of the former prized Arkansas Razorback cutting a line in front of a cop. Even Pacman Jones thinks he's stupid.

Speaking of former quarterbacks I have lost almost all respect for Brett Favre... c'mon dude, quit being a cry-baby wuss.

Billy Packer is no longer covering the NCAA Tournament - It's about time. Now if only Dick Vitale would go to the same place Billy Packer is headed to my basketball life would be perfect.

Speaking of basketball - "The Jimmy Dolan Shake and Bake" is the greatest schooling of all-time... If only the Air Up There was a cool movie.

OJ Mayo is still tearing it up... believe that! What should we call him? It can't be "The Truth" since Paul Pierce uses it and Drew Gooden stole it... I'm going to rack my brain all week and present a list of nicknames we can use for Mr. Mayo and company - (more like Mr. Mayo and condiments) - lame.

It's all coach K's fault...

2008-07-10T11:25:00.001-07:00

I'm going to be straight forward on this - I do not like Coach K. I don't like his face, his terrible haircut, the way he carries himself, but most of all - I don't like him because he's a jerk and a nerd. Let me repeat that - he is a JERK and a NERD. Have you ever looked at the guy or listened to his press conferences? He sounds like he's been doing his players Math homework all night long... for fun. (there's probably some validity to that)

My theory on his nerdiness ties in with his jerkiness...

There's no way coach K was remotely cool at any point during his grade school life; I'm guessing he was probably picked on, wasn't even allowed to sit at the band table during lunchtime, ran for class office because he felt that would get him chicks, was a virgin until he was married and passed it off as a "purity" angle, and wrote his own comics in which he made himself the superhero...

(I swear to all of you reading this that I can actually picture him doing every one of those things)

Have you ever seen a nerd or someone picked on suddenly gain power? It goes straight to their head - and that's why so many former Duke players are giving the old one-two to many of these NBA teams(they learned it from their coach).

For example -

Carlos Boozer and the Cav's
Elton Brand and the Clippers
Danny Ferry and the Clippers (look it up)
Corey "All I want to do is win" Maggette and the Clippers... are we sensing a pattern yet?

No, not the Clippers pattern but that is ironic... but the pattern that all of his players are giant a-holes, or nerds (minus Shane Battier and Grant Hill)...

Coach K's recent jerk move - Former Duke assistant and new Stanford head coach Johhny Dawkins just had a recruit de-commit his first week there, his name was Miles Plumlee and he is the #14th rated power forward in the 2008 class - Plumlee has now committed to Duke.

That's pretty lame if you ask me.

So, I need to relate this back to the title obviously - the reason that this NBA backstabbing is occurring is all coach K's fault. He's a jerk, a nerd, and he doesn't care about you.

In other news...

I miss Bobby Hurley, I used to own his jersey.

Remember Teddy Dupay, the former Florida Gator basketball player who overcame the odds? He's been charged with rape.

Brandon Jennings is going to Europe. Who cares? I'm disappointed I won't get to see his flat top more this season, but I think the glamour will fade once these players start going to places like Turkey to ball...

Rich Rodriguez has to pay $4 million to WVU - good! It's about time these coaches were held to their contracts.

Matt Jones - the Jaguars wide receiver has been busted with cocaine. HA! I have nothing else to say about it, but HA!

Andrew Bogut will sign a five year $73 million dollar deal. Whaaaaat!? In non-related news he has now catapulted his way into my top 5 favorite players of all time for that... just behind Big Country, Todd McCullough, and Brian Cardinal... gotta love the undeserving white guy with the huge contract.

I get it... Jason Giambi has a moustache, and it's funny. It's so funny that people are wearing fake ones in support of him. You people are hilariously original. Aren't these the same fans who were booing him at the beginning of the season? Man I hate Yankee fans.

Mark Mulder is set to start opening day in the 2009-2010 baseball season. I think.

"Something's coming over me..."

2008-07-08T19:32:00.000-07:00

I dunno - thought I should use a line from one of Madonna's song since A-Rod is hitting a homerun with her each night... (allegedly)

Anyways - that's a line from one of Madonna's songs when she started really skanking out during my middle school days... Loved those videos as a middle schooler. Another awesome video - Janet Jackson's "That's the Way Love Goes" - go back and watch that.

Here are some other things I thought about during my week long hiatus:

Remember the movie Airborne - if you go back and watch it that movie is terrible.

Big News - Step up 2: The Streets is coming out on BlueRay and Hi-Def next Tuesday! I'm going to pull a Star-Wars and camp outside Best Buy until then...

Let's break down each individual sport:

MLB - Rich Harden goes to the Cubs, CeCe Sabathia to the Brewers, and NO ONE to the Cardinals... my favorite baseball team is disappointing me by not making any move whatsoever.

The All-Star teams have been picked... sort of. The MLB needs to go back to non-fan voting and select the best players available.

For example, Jason Veritek... Batting average of .215, 18 Runs Scored, and 27 RBI's. That sucks and Redsox fans suck for voting on him - there are 14 catchers with more RBI's than him and over 25 with a better batting average. That makes me sick and this is completely unfair to those who actually deserve to be there... Ryan Doumit or Yadier Molina anyone?

And please don't let me get started on the Cubs fans for voting in Kosuke Fukudome... average of .287, 35 RBI's - that seems fair. He's definitely a top player in the outfield with those numbers - (sarcasm)

Tennis - I still don't care... I can't even name ten men's single tennis players, and you can't either. Apparently Wimbledon was exciting.

UFC Rampage still rules.

College Basketball The Mack Attack is coming Back... that's the rumor at least. Doneal Mack is coming back to the Tigers. I personally don't want him back - let him suffer and realize what an idiot he is. Plus, I don't want him feeding into better players time - which is pretty much the rest of the team.

NBA Elton Brand just pulled a Carlos Boozer and is now going to the Sixers... that's crazy. I wonder how Baron Davis feels? Proably not too bad considering the NBA's all about money anyways, and he's got a lot.

I wish I had a lot... I wish Madonna would make some sweet lovin' to me. (true)

29 days and counting in the Cedric Benson free agency... hilarious.

My take on the draft, and life...

2008-06-27T13:29:00.001-07:00

I guess it's time to put my thoughts out there for the world to see because after all the NBA draft is a big deal for me (a Memphian)...

Rose goes 1st - awesome! That's really cool considering the Tigers have never had a player go #1... It's also cool sonsidering that John Calipari has now had a #1 draft pick (Rose) and a #2 (Camby) play for him - that makes him a good judge of talent in my book (and my book's a best seller).

Beasley goes 2nd - Yawn.

Mayo goes 3rd - To The T-Wolves... kinda (more on that later).

Russell Westbrook goes 4th? Seriously? This guy wasn't even the best player on his college team. Hell, he wasn't even the 2nd best player on his college team. But this guy warrants a #4 pick? If I'm selecting teams on the school yard he would have "downs"... Kevin Durant's face was hilarious after the camera panned over for a reaction to selecting Westbrook... Call me crazy, but don't they need a big man? Or a good point guard?

Love goes #5 - I was pretty happy about it, he fights for rebounds (something the Grizz don't have), he shoots well, passes well, etc... Thought it was a smart safe pick.

But therein lies the problem - after coming down off the Love buzz, I realized that we have played it TOO safe as an organization for years. The Grizzlies have tried to make the smart pick and have obviously looked like a group of dumbasses... It's time to get a big name, pick a known face, and steer the team into a different direction. I am overly excited about the arrival of OJ Mayo... because the fact of the matter is before I heard of Derrick Rose, I heard of OJ Mayo.

So good move Chris Wallace, or whoever else helped.

I have to brag for just a moment, even though any moron could've predicted it.

As predicted...Cardinal got traded, and Mike Miller got traded. Kyle Lowry is next.

On the subject of CDR not going to the Grizz -

Where would he have played? He is not good enough to start at shooting guard in the league, OJ Mayo is, and I would foreever not follow the Grizzlies if he started over Rudy Gay. He didn't fit. Plain and simple. I'm a huge Tiger fan but am not going to boycott them because they didn't take my boy. At this point I'm just glad he got drafted after getting humiliatingly (is that a word) dropped to #40.

If they had taken CDR out of sympathy and local ties, we would not have Mayo. And I'll take Mayo and Arthur over Kevin Love and Donte Green/CDR anytime...

Joey Dorsey went early. WOW! They could've traded down for him.

Way to go Grizz! You get an 'A' from me if that counts for anything... at least you have a fan with more hope and enthusiasm about your bobo team now than I've had in years.

Now my life won't suck as bad.

Draft Day!!

2008-06-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

I can't believe what I read - "Michael Heisley is going to be more involved in the draft this year"...

Tell me this can't be true. Hasn't he already been involved enough?

With Heisley "involved" you can almost guarantee a few things in his quest to have the NBA's lowest payroll - right now we're only 3 away!

1. Mike Miller is getting traded. He is making $9-mil next year... I like Mike - trade him to a winner.

2. He will unload Brian Cardinal's contract by doing whatever it takes.

3. If any trade goes down tonight, it will most likely involve some combination of Miller, Cardinal, Lowry and the #5 pick for an expiring contract and a pick... rumors have also included Mike Conley.

This is depressing.

Do NOT trade Mike Conley - he is the perfect fit for the fast paced offensive system that we (the Grizz) run...

Research I just did on Conley:

In the last 20 games of the season...

Minutes per game: 26.65
Points per game: 10.4
Assists per Game: 4
Rebounds per game: 3.4
Turnovers per game: 1.8
Field Goal Percentage: 42%

Don't trade him - he had a good rookie season considering he missed 28 games because of injuries, plus he shared time with Damon Stoudamire and Kyle Lowry.

Will the Grizz make any moves tonight? I hope. All fans hope. Anyone who has ever taken a shine to the Memphis Grizzlies at any point in their young or old life have hope, granted a small glimmer of hope, but there is still hope that they will make some sort of big move, Hell - I'll take any move. But please Michael and cast make it look like you are doing something positive for YOUR Memphis Grizzlies.

Other Draft stuff non-grizz related:

Raptors will get Jermaine O'Neal for Nesterovic, TJ Ford, 17th pick, and a player to be named later... I may be in the minority here but I like this move for Toronto...

If O'Neal comes back healthy they would have the best front court in the Eastern Conference...you could actually argue in the entire NBA. Toronto hangs onto Jamario Moon, Bargnani, and Jose Calderon. If they sign a good shooting guard - lookout.

Bobcats landed the 20th pick from the Nuggets - who cares. They'll trade it. Hopefully to the Grizz -

Other Draft Day rumors:

Shawn Marion could be moved - I don't see that happening.

With Indiana landing TJ Ford, Jamaal Tinsley could have a new home.

The Knicks are still shopping David Lee and the #6 pick... I'd do that in a heartbeat.

The Bobcats are shopping Adam Morrisson - I'd like him here.

I don't know what to think - I'm probably going to spend all day looking at mock drafts, not getting any work done, and going to websites like hoopshype so I can look at the latest rumors.

Let's go Grizz - don't make me give up on you.

"The Status Quo Sucks" - George Carlin

2008-06-24T09:35:00.001-07:00

I'm having a tough time staying focused on anything non-sports related... Actually, I'm on pins and needles at this point in time for many reasons...

One - The draft is Thursday night and I am extremely anxious to see what Chris Wallace is planning on doing...

Two - Don Imus - really!?

Three - Shaq - ha!

Lets start with #1 - There's still a lot of rumors that the Grizz might be making a reach for the #2 pick... I'm starting to believe (as I do every year) that there may be some validity to this... for starters, Chris Wallace needs to make a positive move, a "splash" for lack of a better term. What better way to do that than get one of the bigger prospects in years?
Speaking of Chris Wallace - he has a pretty good history of selecting some decent talent with later picks... but doesn't a chimp have a better history with selections than Jerry West did?

Worst case scenario - we end up with Eric Gordon... that's not that bad.

Concerning trade rumors - I like the following: #5 pick and someone to the Heat for the #2 pick and Daequn Cook...

I like the late first round trade with the Nuggets I spoke of last post...

I hate anything that's going to present a digression among the Grizz.

To sum it all up though... we're not in that bad of a situation.

Don Imus - wow.

It's hard to give the guy the benefit of the doubt when he's made past comments that some would find racist... I thought the nappy headed comment was flat out funny, because in all seriousness - they did have bad hair.

I've written before that I am a non-fan of Shaq but have slowly started to change my mind because he's just so damn funny.

If you have not seen the video dissing Kobe you have officially been living under a rock... therefore, I will not show it to you.

In other news...

There's a rumor circulating that Mike Myers could be gay...seriously.

George Carlin needs to be memorialized as much as Tim Russert was... at least ALL Americans have heard of Carlin -

"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done." - George Carlin.

The Weekend Fix...

2008-06-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

I will not be making another post until Monday for two reasons:

1. I'm leaving Saturday morning to go out of town.

2. I have a life.

So here's enough to hold you over until Monday...

Mark Mulder blows. That's the most disappointing thing to me as a HUGE Cardinals fan... He made another re-hab start this time in Memphis - the stat line: six runs and 10 hits in 3 2/3 innings. He walked two and struck out three.

*Mulder is 0-3 with a 13.50 ERA in three starts with Memphis this season*

Thankfully his 6.5 million comes off the books after this year...

New trade proposal for Grizz...

As reported on the Chris Vernon show yesterday, and by Mr. Johnson in today's lesson that the Nuggets are looking to add Lowry to their roster for the following: the 28th pick and Lowry for the 20th pick and Linas Kleiza... DO IT!!!

Kleiza averaged 14 pts and 6 rebounds per game in the playoffs, he's good. He fights for rebounds and he's tough... the Grizz need toughness.

With the 20th pick it's rumored that the Grizz will draft Courtney Lee... I can't personally critique him because I don't recall ever watching him play, but by looking at the stats i can tell you that he plays good in big games...

Last season he averaged 20.4 ppg, shot 40% from 3-land, and shot 81% from the free throw line...

Against tough opponents: Michigan, Gonzaga, Nebraska, Tennessee, Southern Illinois, San Diego, and UCLA he averaged 22ppg... not a bad find at pick #20 - especially since they are about to trade away Mike Miller...

Tiger Woods is no longer playing golf this year. I officially don't care about golf anymore this year.

The Yankees have been on a tear lately and are now only 3.5 games behind the Tampa Bay Rays for the Wild Card Spot... I guess they finally realized that their entire starting lineup minus Melky Cabrera has been named to at least one All-Star team. (It's true, look it up)

Apparently another JC quarterback will be coming to Memphis for next season, it just hasn't been announced yet - I have no idea who it could be but that's good news considering Will Hudgins will break his leg at some point this season and Dallas Walker transferred.

I knew that people in Peru took soccer serious, but this might stretch the boundaries a tad:

How would you like to be the guy holding the jersey up?

In Pop-Culture...

Jamie-Lynn Spears had her baby yesterday. I hope she doesn't leave the baby with Aunt Britney...

In a related story, you have to read this.

So I'm looking forward to seeing Will Smith's next movie...Hancock.

That was rediculous...

2008-06-18T07:47:00.001-07:00

The Celtics are champs, the Lakers are chumps... actually they are beyond chumps. I should've bet on that game. I haven't seen a blow out that bad since Hurricane Katrina. (too soon)

But, for serious...

A hearty congratulations goes out to the Celtics for winning their 17th championship. Seventeen! That's a lot...That's even too high for R. Kelly -

Can Memphis just have one Boston? You do have a former Grizzly (James Posey), Jerry West orchestrated the Gasol deal (behind closed doors) and we do have Chris Wallace...

I can't remember... what did I say about the Finals?

In leu of celebrations and the thanks that many players like to give upon winning championships, I would like to personally write Doc Rivers' thank you note to Danny Ainge:

Dear Danny Ainge -

Thanks for making all those off season transactions, you saved my job. Analysts are now saying that I outcoached Phil Jackson and all I had to do was start Ray, Kevin, and Paul. It's also pretty awesome to hear people say that I led the charge in the best turnaround ever in NBA history... you really are a great GM. Thanks again, I owe you dinner.

Sincerely - Doc

After watching the post game interviews I now know why Kevin Garnett is always so "quiet and intense"...it's because his grammar and speech patterns are far worse than all European players combined... I believe KG said he is now "certified". Certified to do what?

Many people also like to point out that if Andrew Bynum had been in the finals it could have been a different ending, I disagree.

Perkins would've guarded Bynum, KG would still have Pau. How would it have been any different?

The reason why the Lakers went down in six is because they were soft. End of discussion... Dan Shaughnessy, a columnist for the Boston Globe had this to say about the series: "Kobe Bryant scored 22 for the losers, but ultimately LA just had too many Europeans."

Link to that article.

So another great NBA season is over and I have two questions:

1. Is this the same championship team that the Hawks took to seven games?

2. How much money did David Stern make?

Way to go Celtics - you deserved it... It's only fitting that a banner can be raised only a season after you mourned the loss of Red Auerbach to the basketball gods...

In other news:

Negedu commits to UT - who cares? It's not that big of a deal that the Vols beat the Tigers in this "recruiting battle"... Everyone should know that Negedu had Tennessee as his second choice before his original commitment to Arizona.

Tigers Land Roburt Sallie - great timing considering Doneal Mack just announced his transfer the other day... Maybe he caught wind of the Sallie commitment? Sallie is an experienced player who averaged nineteen points per game in junior college and was also the other starter of the Laurinburg Prep team that consisted of Dozier, Antonio Anderson, Kareem Cooper, and Shawne Williams.

Cedric Benson is still on the free agent market, he will always be on the free agent market.

Javon Walker was released from the hospital this morning... I heard a rumor that it could have been one of Floyd "Money" Mayweather's boys. Here's another link.

"Michelle, you look great tonight girl." Kevin Garnett to Michelle Tafoya.

Tiger, Tiger Woods Y'all...

2008-06-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

If you caught the show last evening first off, thanks. If you didn't catch the show you missed an arguement between Jeremy and I that can be pretty much summed up like this:

Me: Tiger Woods is the best ever. Period.

Jeremy: Woods got some help with steroids, Jack Nicklaus is better.

I could not disagree more...

As The Dude would say - If anyone out there believes that Tiger is Hulked Up then "that's like your opinion man" - but I have to negate you right here and now.

Can we not just accept the fact that we are witnessing the best player ever at his repective game? Have we become so sinnacle that we have to automatically assume that he's taking something to make his game better? Unfortunately, the answer to both of those questions is yes... but I will NOT believe that. Baseball is to blame for all the doubt that is put in my head and any other sports fanatics head when we see someone who completely rules in their sport.

But, I'm still a sports fan first and a doubter second...

Here's a few pieces from a timeline that I pulled off of worldgolf.com -

1976: Six-month-old Tiger sees his golf-infatuated father hitting balls into a net and mimics him.

1978: Appears on The Mike Douglas Show, putting with Bob Hope.

1979: At age 3, shoots a 48 over nine holes at the Navy Golf Club in Cypress, Calif.

1981: Appears in Golf Digest and on TV's That's Incredible.

At age 3 he shot a 48 over nine holes? I can't even do that now!

It's not roids, It's natural ability. This is what you get when you take a superior athlete and teach him the right sport... he is the LeBron to Jordan, the Crosby to Gretzky, The A-Rod to Ruth, the Adrian Peterson to Emmitt Smith (most all time yards), he is today's Jack Nicklaus and will always be compared to only Jack Nicklaus... until he surpasses him of course. Just accept it, you are witnessing greatness and he is the only reason people watch golf now and the only reason golf is more mainstream now than it ever was before.

Now - Tiger vs. Nicklaus - two best ever, end of discussion. (with Sam Snead coming in a close third)

Most Top 10 Finishes of all time: Sam Snead - 358

Nicklaus is second on that list with 286... Tiger has 150 - so he has him beat there.

Wait a second - Nicklaus did that over a 24 year career before he went to the Champions (old) Tour.

Woods has 150 in 12 years... I guess Tiger is on pace to beat him there.

Major Championships won:

Nicklaus - 18 over 24 years...
Woods - 14 over 12 years... Woods is on pace to SHATTER that record.

Most Tour Wins:

1. Sam Snead - 82 over 29 years.
2. Jack Nicklaus - 73 over 24 years.
3. Tiger Woods - 65 over twelve years.

He is destroying every record.

Total PGA Tour events played:

Nicklaus - 594
Woods - 236

Of Jack's 594 he placed in the top ten 286 times (48.1%) and the top three 165 times (27.8%)...

Of Tigers 236 he placed in the top ten 150 times (67.5%) and the top three 106 times (45%)...

He is destroying Nicklaus in every stat possible, there is no comparison.

Best Ever - You have to start asking yourself sooner or later if he's bigger than Jordan?

The Dude Abides.

GOAL!!!!!!!

2008-06-16T12:55:00.000-07:00

I know, I know... alot of you hate soccer:

"It's wussy", "It's Boring", "The score's too low"...

Give me a break. It's a tough sport to play, and I'd know...

Now before all of you doubters/haters have anything to say about me playing other sports or being "afraid to get hurt", let me go on record and say that I have played them all and have been in more than one skirmish in my lifetime... I just chose to stick with soccer because I can guarantee that I am better at that particular sport than most of you were at anything you played...

But, inspired by the Euro2008 tournament which has had some great games I want to answer all the questions anyone has about the US soccer team and where we stand against the world:

In 2008 their record is 3-2-2.. that's 3 wins, 2 losses, and 2 draws, which is actually pretty good and above average...

The teams they have played are as follow: (world ranking also attached)

January 19, 2008 Sweden 2-0 Win - #30 ranked team in the world...

February 6, 2008 Mexico 2-2 Draw - #14 ranked team in the world...

March 26, 2008 at Poland 3-0 Win - #28 ranked team in the world...
*First ever consecutive victories on European soil for U.S.*

May 28, 2008 at England 2-0 Loss - #9 ranked team in the world...

June 4, 2008 at Spain 1-0 Loss - #4 ranked team in the world...

June 8, 2008 Argentina 0-0 Draw - #1 ranked team in the world...

June 15, 2008 Barbados 8-0 Win - #121 ranked team in the world... note - they had to play Barbados in a World Cup qualifying match -

*There are 200 teams in the World*

I'm pretty content with the way things are right now for two reasons: One, they are playing the best talent in the world and doing pretty well.

And two: The young players are progressing the way they should be according to the original plan set forth in Project 2010... what's that you ask? I'm here to tell you...

Per Wikipedia:

Project 2010 is a blueprint United States Soccer Federation executives created in 1998 to ensure that the US Men's National Team become a legitimate threat to win the World Cup by 2010.

The $50 million development plan was started just before the start of the 1998 World Cup. While referred to less and less, Project 2010 did propagate two programs still in use today by the USSF to help produce world-class talent: Generation adidas (previously called Project-40) and the USSF's under-17 residency camp in Bradenton, Florida.

Now per me:

Basically - they took the best young talent in America, placed them in academies when they were early teens and hired badass world renowned instructors/coaches to come and develop their skills.

In the match against Argentina the 18 man squad consisted of 10 players age 26 and under who attended one of these programs, most noteably - Freddy Adu and Landon Donovan (the all-time leading scorer in US Men's history).

Next - The summer Olympics are coming up in which a lot of players in their late teens to early twenties that have not yet been called up will get a chance to play... mainly to gain experience internationally to fuel the run for the 2010 World Cup.

Currently - The US National Team is a top 20 team now according to the national rankings, right at 20... But a good Olympic showing (which is likely) and two more years experience they will be a top 10 team going into the 2010 World Cup.

I hope this helps (for those of you who were interested).

Love, Gay, Wang

2008-06-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about this... If the Memphis Grizzlies are going to be the laughing stock of the NBA you might as well make your franchise so comical that you could be the laughing stock, literally... so I present to you a few scenarios/ideas...

1. My friend Nick and I came up with the idea the day after Rudy Gay was drafted that we should create some shirts... the shirts would read "Rudy Gay Pride." In order to market these shirts we would pay for courtside seats during the "big" games and make complete asses of ourselves any time the camera was near...we would also have a sign with our phone number on it that people could call if they were interested in buying a shirt...in turn, a business would start and we would make millions - (as a side not we were going to take two hot chicks with us and make out with them during the kiss-cam segment) The Rudy Gay Pride club would be hilarious...

2. Draft Kevin Love... it's been said many times over now that the Grizzlies need to draft Kevin Love and that it would be funny to have the Gay Love Connection...and I agree. But let's take it a step further: Does anyone remember Wang Zhizhi? He was the first Chinese basketball player ever in the NBA - played for the Mavericks in the early part of this decade but is now playing oversees...so this would make him a free agent... Will Chris Wallace please sign him for humor purposes, Can't you picture it?

Love, Gay, Wang - for some reason Wang was on the back of his jersey...

3. (This is my favorite one) A team of all white guys, it'd be hysterical. What I find funny is the fact that thre are some white dudes who are unrestricted free agents that could field a team almost as good as the Grizz we have now...

Here it is by position:

PG - Carlos Arroyo, Dan Dickau
SG - Juan Carlos Navarro, Eric Piatkowski
SF - Mike Miller, Walter Herman
PF - Eduardo Najera, Austin Croshere
C - Darko, Rasho Nesterovic, Chris Mihm

In other news:

- Cedric Benson is still a free agent - he sucks. Plain and simple.

- I might make it to karaoke at some point this weekend...

- That comeback last night was awesome...Let's go Celtics!

- Does anyone else find it weird that as soon as Alfonso Soriano goes down with an injury that Albert Pujols does too?

- I kind of believe that the NBA is fixed...and I love the NBA.

In Tiger News:

Doneal Mack is transferring, so what. Like I'm going to miss his 6.9 points per game and his excessive misses beyond three point land... I bought into his hype when he was a freshman but then he faded away as a sophomore. Thanks for freeing up that scholarship Doneal so we can give it to someone who can pass AND shoot...
Is anybody that sad really? Now we can give playing time to one of the awesome incoming freshman and I can promise you that they already have a bigger upside than the D-Mack Attack... (as another side note, his dad needs to stay out of his business)

That's all for now... next post WILL be about soccer seriously...inspired by the Euro2008.

Have a safe soda filled weekend.

Lot's of Stuff (phrase copyright - RP Tracks)

2008-06-10T07:49:00.000-07:00

As the title says there's a lot of stuff that went down in the sports world since my last post, so this is going to be a smorgasbord of topics...(also as the title says, make your way to RP Tracks and order the Lot's of Stuff appetizer...fantastic)

- Big Brown blew it...masterfully. Biggest choke job I've seen in a long time. How do you go from winning two huge races to finishing second to last?

- Cedric Benson got booted off the Bears, he still claims innocence. Even Marvin Harrison finds Benson claiming innocence amusing... While we're on the subject of the Bears do you think they regret letting Thomas Jones go? They look like geniuses right now for drafting a running back early...that kid's going to be good.

- St. Jude Classic ended in a 3-way playoff...that's pretty cool I guess. It's just too bad I don't care since Tiger Woods was not there.

- I met a real life conspiracy theorist who was wearing a comb-over and a fanny pack... he then informed me that I will be placed in a concentration camp if Obama gets elected and that the US government found an oil reserve off a Korean Island that our country owns as a territory. I'm pretty scared for my life right now.

- Michael Strahan retired, smart move. Go out on top - (cough, cough, Michael Jordan's second un-retirement)

- Ken Griffey Jr. has now officially hit his way into the greatest player of all time debate. I'm glad I got to see it while I was eating hot wings - Now clear your head and think about Ken Griffey Jr. of the early to mid nineties... does anyone even come close to touching him?

- Lakers lost again, that makes me pretty happy. Doc Rivers is getting applauded for his coaching and he hasn't had to do anything but tell Paul Pierce to shoot it, Ray Allen to shoot it, and KG to post up...tough job. Even Phil Jackson is jealous.

That's all for now - next post will cover soccer...

Pierce does not = Willis Reed

2008-06-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

I don't care what anyone says. Paul Pierce faked it.

I have never met anyone who was carried off their respective field of play only to return in the same quarter/half.

He was diagnosed with a sprained knee...but returned?

Life doesn't work out like that..

And please don't give me the arguement that he's in great shape... A sprained knee is a sprained knee. Ask anybody who has ever had a sprained knee, they'll tell you he was faking it.

So let's get this straight -

- In 2007 Redskins safety Sean Taylor was out indefinitely with a sprained knee.
- David Beckham missed 6 weeks with a sprained knee.
- In 2007 Eagles cornerback Lito Sheppard missed one game with a sprained knee.
- Last hockey season Detroit Red Wings center Kris Draper missed 10 days with a sprained knee.
- WNBA player Sylvia Fowles for the Chicago Sky missed 4-6 weeks with a sprained knee.

But Paul Pierce only misses part of the 3rd quarter?

That's a little sketchy to me.

My best friend is a big Celtics fan and even he thought the "injury" was slightly comical.

I guess when all the hype about this series surrounds the actual history of the Lakers/Celtics rivalry you have to do something to create some history of you own... that's what he did.

Boston fans are crazy and are going to argue with me until they're green in the face that it was some awesome miracle... but in reality, Kevin Garnett is getting all the pub and Paul just won't stand for that...

The last thing I want to say about all this is the last time I saw someone in a wheel chair I'm pretty sure I didn't see them playing basketball fifteen minutes later...

In other stuff...

New drinking game - drink everytime in an instant replay Pau looks like a wuss, complains, or plays terrible defense... it's fun.

Does anyone else find it weird that the guy who was going to out a lot of players in the NFL for steroid use was murdered yesterday? Wasn't he going to out them sometime really soon?

TNA wrestling this Sunday at the DeSoto Civic Center - it's going to be pretty cool. All the Old School guys will be there... Angle, Nash, Sting...etc.

Brawl in baseball - that was cool...after watching the teams rush the field it's evident that the reason the D-Rays are doing so well is that they genuinely care about one another.

Did anyone else see Manny pimp slap Youkilis?

This story is hilaious...

Nice weekend coming up... I hope to see a horse win the triple crown.

I must be crazy...

2008-06-04T13:18:00.000-07:00

I'm writing about hockey.

It's not a very popular sport...

It definitely doesn't thrive in Memphis (see Memphis RiverKings...errr - DeSoto)

And, I have never taken a vested interest in even playing... However,

I am going to watch it on TV tonight - (It's nice to see any other channel besides VS picking it up) Honestly, how do you expect your sport to thrive when you sign a contract with the VS Network?

Why has my interest peaked?

Sidney Crosby...

Not in a gay way - but in a "that kid's amazing" way...

I can't believe I'm referring to Crosby as a 'kid'... but it's true. The kid can't even legally drink.

If the Penguins win the series the cup will have to be filled with Ginger Ale...

The NHL needs to take a page out of the NBA's book and revolve all of their intentions around money (see Lakers/Celtics)...

If the NHL officials are smart, Crosby will win. If they are dumb, then the San Antonio Spurs of the frozen tundra will continue to turn fans into bored patrons; and turn non-fans into people with false hopes of watching the great Sidney Crosby hoist his apple juice filled trophy high for the world to see...

So this is my plea to the NHL higher-up's -

For the sake of you sport you will find a way to make the Red Wings lose... Market your league around Sid the Kid, and you too will have a David Stern sized stack of money that you can roll around in...

I can't believe I'm watching hockey, and the only reason I am is so I can see #87... I haven't even cared to watch it since the Gretzky days. That's how special Sid is.

I officially hate life now...

2008-06-02T17:23:00.000-07:00

This is the most depressing picture I've seen in a long time...

Back from Vacation...

2008-06-02T11:51:00.000-07:00

I've learned that it's really hard to get motivated to do anything (epecially update a blog) after any holiday weekend...

It's even harder to get motivated when you know you are going out of town to the lake the following weekend... that was my life this past week so I decided to take a vacation from any extracurricular activities (this counts as one)...

Now -

For anyone who caught the show we laughed at Vallterri Filppula for a while, the hockey player from the Red Wings...I have no idea why, but we thought his last name was funny when pronounced with a Canadian accent; After looking him up we then realized that he is Johnny Lawrence from the Karate Kid aged 10 years...the resemblance is uncanny.

Put him in a body bag! Yeah! (best line from that movie)

While I was out of town...

I learned that the Finals will be the Lakers vs. Celtics - I bet Kendrick Perkins averages a double/double against Gasol...

I'm pretty torn as to which team I want to win it - On one hand you have Kobe, a man who needs to win one as the team leader...you also have Lamar Odom, someone who doesn't get enough credit and a person who I think deserves a ring.

And then you have the Celtics - it's hard to not like the Celts...I want to see Paul Pierce hoist a trophy. He's one of the most underrated players in the game...Garnett and Allen deserve a ring too.

I guess in the end I'll pull for the Celts out of spite for Gasol and Jerry West...Really Jerry? What else are you going to do for the Lakers.
Dumb Prediction - West will be GM for some team in the future and help orchestrate a big trade for the Lakers.

Did anyone watch the post game show after the Spurs/Lakers game? Kenny Smith was talking about Kobe's awesome performance and said he hasn't seen a player take over the 4th quarter in the playoffs like that since Jordan...Did everyone already forget about LeBron scoring 25 straight points and 29 of the team's last 30 in game 6 last year in the Eastern Conference Finals? I guess that's not Jordan-esque...that's beyond Jordan-esque...

And no I'm not saying James is better than Jordan - he's clearly not at this point in his career...But I don't remember Jordan doing that.

That's a picture my girlfriend took of "Hollywood" Raiford's Jerry Curl - he's a legend...she can never now be any cooler - I guess it's downhill from here...

Psych!

Somewhere right now David Stern is rolling around in stacks of money - Lakers and Celtics = Cha-Ching!

Happy Birthday to Andrew Watson; Congrat's to Rocknuts and Crystal on the marriage this past weekend (awesome time)...

That's all for now, it's good to be back.

Info Please

2008-05-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

Apparently the Tiger basketball team is still recruiting two players from the 08' class... Rashanti Harris and Emanuel Negedu - If anyone's seen either one of them play please shoot me a comment and let me know how good they are...

Also - any show/blog suggestions are greatly appreciated...I want all things media related to get as good as possible...

Thanks anonymous posters for the inspiration...sincerely.

I've come to realize...

2008-05-26T15:50:00.000-07:00

- Memorial Day celebrations are best done on Sunday in order to sleep off the Monday hangover...

- Lakers/Celtics finals is as eminent as before...the NBA will make the most money that way.

Thanks - will post tomorrow

Pau checked for Blood...

2008-05-22T11:58:00.001-07:00

Did anyone else see it last night? In the middle of the fourth quarter as Gasol was making another layup look like the most exhausting shot in the history of basketball he predictably looked at the referee and complained about a foul... a few moments later I spotted him running down the court doing the blood check...again.

Dear Pau -

You have to get full on decked in the face in order for blood to start squirting out. As a Memphian I watched you play at least 100 games live and not one time did I ever see you bleed. You will not EVER bleed.

Sincerely yours -

Another Memphis fan who is glad to see you go.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While we're on the subject of finally ridding our town of Pau - why is it that the national media likes to say things like "Memphis didn't realize what they had down there." Yes we did, that's why a whole team was built around him and that's why a whole organization is crumbling. We were tricked! You jerks didn't realize what was down here because you've never watched the Grizzlies play.

Memo to those same jerks - There's a player named Rudy Gay "down here" who is also really good. You should watch him sometime.

I wonder how long it will take before the people of Los Angeles will realize how big of a weiner he is...it took Memphis about five years. But if you take into account the fact that Memphis is slower than the rest of the country than you have to shave three years off that figure. So here now is my big prediction - Los Angeles will start booing Pau around playoff time next season. You heard it here first folks!

And to those of you new to my blog, This is all you need to know about Pau Gasol...

Is anybody surprised really?

2008-05-21T12:09:00.000-07:00

The prodigal son returns home...to Chicago.

So let me get this straight - it was stated last night during the broadcast of the Draft Lottery that there was 1000 different combinations that this process could give you...and the Bulls had a 1.7% chance of getting the #1 pick. That's rediculous. Is it even fair? It's better than any other professional draft but c'mon, really? One point seven?!

The last ten lottery winners have stacked up like this: (The number after their name is their chance in percentage of getting the coveted #1 spot)

2008 - Bulls - 1.7%

2007 - Blazers - 5.5%

2006 - Raptors - 8.8%

2005 - Bucks - 6.3%

2004 - Orlando - 25%

2003 - Cleveland - 22%

2002 - Houston - 8.9%

2001 - Washington - 15.7%

2000 - Nets - 4.4% - Worst draft class ever

1999 - Chicago - 15.7%

Someone gets screwed more times than not...it's not just the Grizzlies who get screwed.

The Bulls will draft Derrick Rose, don't even question it. What will make the Bulls the most money? Derrick Rose.

The Grizz still could get a decent player at #5, OJ Mayo could still be there, Eric Gordon, Kevin Love...those guys would all help. I'm just glad they're in a draft position that would make Brook Lopez get off the board before the Grizz get to him.

Life could always be worse I guess...you could be dead.

Now - to the Patriots...

Everyone knows they cheat. But now they have cheated many NFL Teams out of a lot of money by making teams think the assistant coaches under Belichick are awesome offensive and defensive geniuses. Through cheating, they have thus prevailed in life. The following are head coaches in the NFL who are Bill's Boys:

Romeo Crennel - 20-28 record in three seasons, astounding. You would think the Browns defense would've been alot better with this guy as their coach right? I guess it's a lot different when you can't film the other teams signals.

Eric Mangini - 14-18 in two seasons with the Jets...stellar. Almost to a .500 record - Amazingly another defensive coach for the Patriots.

Charlie Weiss - 22-15 in three seasons with Notre Dame..not bad. Until you look deeper into it and realize that two of those seasons were with players he did not even recruit...and the 3rd season...he went 3-9. Groundbreaking performance.

All three of these guys are wasting away millions from organizations who have now been cheated by Belichick. It's a shame. Why couldn't I have been in the right place at the right time and been in the room when the videotaping idea started? I hate my life.

The annual screwing continues...

2008-05-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

Another miserable season starts tonight!!! That's right, and don't question it...

The NBA Draft Lottery - where Grizzly fans get pissed off happens.

I don't even know what to expect honestly...Last year it was all about Durant and Oden; this year it's all about Rose and Beasley.

I must admit though, I think I have taken Rose's talent for granted because I got to see him play so many times...this year's lottery just doesn't have the same feel to it as last year's (the anxiousness)...maybe it's because I was so angry last year that I am already expecting the worst to happen (as evidence in my post title), or maybe it's the fact that our drafting problems will continue...I just don't know what to think.

This WOULD be the year to get the number one pick, and this WOULD also be the year we take Michael Beasley or Brook Lopez with that #1 pick...

I could also see the Grizz trade away the #1 pick for their favorite player...flexibility.

Either way I'm just bitter. Bitter towards Heisley, bitter towards the NBA Lottery (How come we don't get to see the ping pong balls drop live?), and bitter towards the NBA as a whole for not letting Tim Donahee be the referee for the Spurs/Hornets game last night...he would've totally bet on CP3.

Keep your fingers crossed Memphis...the city could use a little boost professionally.

Other than that

I'm in a much better mood today than I was last Friday...but do you honestly blame me? I got flat out rediculous...

After attending BBQ Fest I have come to realize that the best part about Memphis in May is BBQ Fest. That's something you would've never heard me say ten years ago, so I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old. That and the fact that I actually want to attend the Sunset Symphony.

Big Brown did it again.

Sucks that LeBron was defeated, however, I want the team in the Eastern Conference Finals that has the best chance of defeating the Pistons so I can avoid the most boring Championship series ever... I will say this though - If Rajon Rondo gets more rebounds than anyone on the Cavs team, they deserve to lose.

There was a horse named Golden Shower in 1955.

Congratulations to Christian Laettner for being elected to the Polish Hall of Fame...there will be a party in his honor that will be attended by "The Polish Power" Ivan Putski and Sebastian Janikowski - The over/under for Janikowski right now is three Brats and seventeen beers.

That's all I got - Next post will be about Spygate...I figured that I should write about it now since no one really knows about it yet.

Worst Wrestling Match Ever

2008-05-17T13:10:00.001-07:00

Special thanks to Andrew Watson for finding this...

Your Friday Fix...

2008-05-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd go ahead and update you now considering I'm going to be swimming in booze and BBQ all weekend, and to be honest with all seven of you who have actually read this...the last thing on my mind is blogging. So this post is going to flat out suck. I'm hungover, I'm in a terrible mood because I had to wake up at 0630 for work, and I'm going to now inform you all on everything I hate in the world:

Hippies - still hasn't changed, I now include PETA as a subcategory in hippies. For example - Exhibit one - hippies, Exhibit 1-A - PETA.

Robert Horry - will the Hornets please put in the worst player on their team to Cobra-Kai Robert Horry in the face? They'd only get a technical foul, 2 free throws, and an ejection. (The ejection is irrelevant considering the guy never played to begin with)

People who live in San Francisco - you jerks think your so modern because you give Wal-Mart the finger everytime you drive by it in your Hybrid Car that you just filled up with vegetable oil while heading towards an anti-war protest.

People who own BBQ tents during BBQ Fest but then get angry when you want to check out their tent... this is an annual problem...(not for me because I'm attractive.) But, why would you pay for a spot in Tom Lee Park and then refuse to let anyone in? Isn't the point of BBQ Fest to drink first and then cook BBQ...eventually? Why would you not want everyone to see how awesome you are? their should be standards set forth by the Adams College fraternity council that mandates the following form to be filled out when registering your team:
1. Will there be enough alcohol for all guests?
2. Will there be attractive people stopping by your tent to drink aforementioned alcohol?
3. Are you going to cook something? Anything?
4. Will you be cordial to all parties interested in entering your tent?
5. In the event that you have a stripper pole will you make sure that everyone stays at least six feet away from the dancer?

If you answered yes to all questions you may now complete your registration.

Have a bless-ed day.

Yup I'm back stuntin, yup I'm back frontin...

2008-05-14T12:34:00.000-07:00

It's been a while - I've missed you all...This is what I've done since my last post:

- Hurricane Katrina'd the strip club
- Drank fine imported beer
- Said something to someone, and then responded with "Psych!"
- Went to Dish where I still can't get the gay stink off me. (For the record, I was there with a girl I'm dating, a friend, and his fiance...who is a girl.)
- Went to music fest where I witnessed the following: A fight, terrible tattoos, Fergie (hot bod), and a drunk chick fall out of the port-o-potty with her pants to her ankles (that one was awesome)

In the Sports World the following things have happened that I find relevant:

OJ Mayo is getting paid sons! Did anyone have any doubt about it? Honestly? One of the top high school basketball players went to a college (USC) that is known for having money and he didn't even have them on his list of "schools of interest"... I don't really blame him though. You offer me 200 thousand and I'm taking it everytime. You can't blame the kid, but you can blame the coach.

Greg Maddux got major league win #350... It's impressive, I guess. Ten years ago I would've been amazed. I honestly feel like I have become numb to great baseball feats because every one of them is a part of the "Steroid Era"...sucks for Maddux - he would've had a parade ten years ago, now he doesn't even get a pants party.

NBA Playoffs still going strong, I hope Chris Paul keeps owning the Spurs. I would like to see the Paul/Kobe showdown...this would determine the man more deserving of the MVP Award.

Also in the NBA -
Mike D'Antoni signed up with the Knicks to be their head coach...dumbest move ever. Good luck Mike getting Eddy "Doughboy" Curry and Zach Randolph running the Phoenix offense...not dumbest move ever, worst career move ever!

Mavs hired Rick Carlisle as their coach...did everyone forget? Rick Carlisle was booted out of Indiana for not getting along with management. Does anyone else picture Carlisle and Mavs owner "Meddling" Mark Cuban getting into a fist fight?

For everyone who missed the show...

- We talked about sports, kinda.
- We made fun of Jeremy (co-host) for being able to name all the WNBA Teams. (gay)
- Sarah Jessica Parker still has a horse face...all the time. (so over-rated)
- The funniest sports player name of all time is Rusty Kuntz, member of the 1984 Detroit Tigers World Series team.
- Mariah Carey has jungle fever...officially.
- And Finally, NASCAR fans love to yell "Free Bird" during any concert you've ever been to.

That's it for now - I have a video that will be posted separately in a couple days that you must see, the anticipation is killing you slowly already... Holla!

R.I.P. Eight Belles

2008-05-06T06:45:00.000-07:00

Thanks for catching the show last night...it was a special Cinco de Mayo edition sponsored in part by Ricky Martin, J-Lo, Los Lonely Boys, The Mexican Economy, Burritos, Churros, El Porton, Juan Carlos Navarro, Enrico Palazzo (look him up), and Aldo Montoya before he assumed the wrestling name Justin Credible (what the hell is wrong with me? Who remembers that stuff really?)

Now...In the world of Sports -

I'm not going to beat a dead horse and make the obvious jokes that one would come up with when a horse is put to rest - I'm better than that...I feel sorry for Eight Belles and her owners, but sometimes things like that just happen. But I do hate hippies and you rediculous tree-huggers at PETA need to just let this one go...

PETA wants the rider to be suspended - yeah, like it was his fault. If I'm leading a race and I have any indication that the horse I'm on is about to break its ankles, I'm pulling out (insert sex joke here). Honestly, he didn't know. How could he?

PETA said the following: "Attending a derby is as despicable as attending a dog fight..." Yeah, except Michael Vick isn't shooting the horses in the head.

Now...in the world of sports that matter -

Cedric Benson gets BUI...
If I were to make a list of the most die hard sports cities Chicago would be on the top of that list...Chicago fans are flat out crazy. So, I pose this question: How much do you have to be hated to get arrested on a boat in the same city whose fans would die for their football team?

Marvin Harrison claims innocence...he's guilty!! So let me get this straight - You fought with a guy in YOUR bar, he got shot with YOUR gun, and the gun was then found at YOUR car wash...but your innocent? How does that work?

Chris Paul owns the NBA...he's the best point guard in the league. No contest... maybe the Hornets are actually that good. I mean, no one else has made the Spurs look like slaw.

And Finally...

Jessica Simpson is writing a song about Tony Romo called "Back in my old Boots" - This is going to be great and I am writing joke material as we speak.

Go Cardinals - took two out of three from the Cubs!!

Holla Back Senoritas.

What?

2008-05-02T14:09:00.000-07:00

Has the NFL gotten so bad that even nice guys are becoming thuggish?

It's a shame...

Fab Five: Part Deux

2008-05-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

This is Wesley Witherspoon Weekend around Memphis and I could not be happier...

The Memphis Tigers have now signed the following players out of the 2008 draft class:

Matt Simpkins - top 100 recruit
Angel Garcia - top 50 recruit
Wesley Witherspoon - top 50 recruit
Tyreke Evans - top 5 recruit

Considering:
Devin Ebanks - top 25 recruit...

So let me get this straight - you have Jordan, Pippen, and 3 other good role players... I'll take that any day of the week.

John Calipari has earned every penny the university has thrown his way...

Ten years ago the best player on the Tigers was Marcus Moody, man how times have changed. Today, Moody wouldn't have even been on the Tigers list...

In other news...

The Shake junts around town can now kiss their profits goodbye as all of them now are required to follow a bunch of new laws...most notably - the dancers must stay at least six feet from the customers. What!? How am I going to make it rain now? I guess I'll take a roll of quarters in there and toss them at the women on stage...

I don't know how much sports I'll be watching this weekend for it is Music Fest - so let me say the following:
Kentucky Derby is this weekend...I only care after whatever horse wins so I can then watch its future races in hopes to see a triple crown winner.
I hope the Cardinals beat the Cubs.
I hope The Cavs beat the Wizards.
I hope Chris Paul owns Tony Parker on Saturday - (down with the Frenchman)

Where I'll be at musicfest:

Friday - Ben Folds...The Roots

Saturday - Simple Plan (gay I know)...Seether...Santana - If I get there soon enough, Muck Sticky - they're hilarious

Sunday - Jerry Lee Lewis...OAR...Black Crowes - I'd say it's worth the money.

If anyone sees Ironman let me know if it was good or not -

Be Safe - Holla!!

Larry Brown sucks too...

2008-04-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

Thank you Charlotte Bobcats for hiring Larry Brown...he can now take his name out of the hat for the Grizzlies. Your franchise will now be torn apart by Brown and in the end will be left more unstable than the Mexican economy...

This is Larry Browns Career:
After college he joined the ABA in 1967 where he played for five seasons...on 5 different teams.

He then went to the following Coaching stops:
Summer 1972 - Davidson College - NCAA
1972-74 Carolina Cougars of the ABA
1974-79 Denver Nuggets
1979-81 UCLA (NCAA)
1981-83 New Jersey Nets (NBA)
1983-88 University of Kansas (NCAA)
1988-92 San Antonio Spurs (NBA)
1992-93 Los Angeles Clippers (NBA)
1993-97 Indiana Pacers (NBA)
1997-2003 Philadelphia 76ers (NBA)
2003-05 Detroit Pistons (NBA)
2005-06 New York Knicks (NBA)
2007-08 Philadelphia 76ers - Front office
2008-present Charlotte Bobcats (NBA)

Who would want him really? Why are you people hiring him? In his entire NBA coaching career he's only won ONE title... so why is it that everyone thinks Larry Brown is going to take them to the promise land? He's old, out-dated, his coaching style sucks, and he is the definition of a Nomad.

Give me a young coach - give me someone who hasn't proven to ruin franchises.

That's all I got.

Let the firings begin...

2008-04-30T07:56:00.001-07:00

At one time I thought that Marc Iavaroni deserved another year or two...

That was until I did some morning research to discover the following:
Avery Johnson will be out in Dallas soon, Mike D'Antoni will be out in Phoenix soon. Can we have one of them?

Johnson led the Mavericks to the finals two seasons ago...with a Dirk led team. What did you expect? He took them as far as he could with a bobo-ass leader.

D'Antoni would have been wearing a ring if Nash wouldn't have been hip-checked in the conference finals last season, which caused Stoudamire to leave the bench...cut the man some slack. It's not his fault that Steve Kerr (the GM of the Suns) traded away one of the best runners in the game (Shawn Marion) for a man who is an old dog (Shaq)...in basketball years. Let's not forget that the Suns also traded Joe Johnson for Boris Diaw with D'Antoni as the coach... although the Frenchman is good - I'd still take Johnson.

So again I ask - Can we have one of them? Either one...I won't be picky.

Hey Mavericks: Nice move in getting Jason Kidd... How'd that work out for you?
Chris Paul owned J-Kidd - In unrelated news - I migh have developed a man crush on CP3.

Cavs and Wizards play tonight - please LeBron finish them off...I'm sick of hearing, reading about, and seeing DeShawn Stevenson - please DeShawn fade away...he's gone from being a no name to becoming a WWE type heel in just a couple weeks...he also has this as a tatoo.

Hawks play in Boston tonight - Celtics should win.

Another post is coming up in a hot minute.

Really Roger?!

2008-04-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

For those of you who caught my show I went on a tangent about Roger Clemens and his sleaziness...

If you have not heard - (and where the hell have you been if you haven't) It's being reported that Roger Clemens started a "relationship" with country singer Mindy McCready...when she was 15! (he was 28). He hasn't denied anything about a relationship but has denied anything sexual that would have happened between the two - (Is anyone else picturing Bill Clinton saying "I did not have sexual relations with that woman?")

Roger Clemens is a bad person. Roger Clemens doesn't care about you. Roger Clemens drinks his own pee.

I'm a firm believer that bad things happen to bad people, and he must be the freaking anti-christ. That's what happens when you're a jerk to people Roger... Karma is a bitch.

I did some research on the whole thing and came up with this:
The two lovebirds met in 1990... coincidentally Billy Idol's "Cradle of Love" was a #1 hit that year...it was fate. Roger rocked the Cradle allright...

I could talk about this all day but need to let up out of fear that I will be sent to Capitol Hill in a suit filed by the Clemens' Party...actually - I hope he sues me, I will then find a crack team of researches and we will also dig some more dirt up on the roid head.

Dear Roger,
I'm impressed by your fastball and curveball but am now more impressed with your sleezeball.

Signed-
Drew

PS - Chris Hanson says hi

In other news...

After the draft weekend I concluded the following:

Jake Long was the smartest pick of the NFL Draft.
I can't believe Glenn Dorsey fell to #5.
Matt Ryan threw 19 interceptions his senior year in college - he's going to be a bust.
No quarterback should've been taken until at least the second round.
I feel sorry for DeAngelo Williams.
Who the hell is Joe Flacco?
I feel sorry for Aaron Rodgers.
Mel Kiper still sucks.
The Chiefs were the winners in this year's draft...although winning the draft means jack squat they still made away with the most talent.
There were 252 total picks - 178 of which belonged to the "Big 6" BCS conferences - That 70%...that's why all the top players go there and all the conferences such as CUSA get so many lame ducks...it's science.

That's the draft recap in a nutshell - say those things and you will look like a genius.

Lakers sweep Denver - that's odd...either the Lakers are that good or the Nuggets just all hate each other.

Check this website out: www.savemyass.com - it's genius

Mel Kiper Sucks

2008-04-25T07:07:00.000-07:00

What makes ths guy an expert?

Everything about him is wrong.

It may be the fact that I'm jealous of his job but to repeat the words of former Colts GM Bill Tobin. "Who in the hell is Mel Kiper, anyway? I mean, here's a guy who criticizes everybody, whoever they take. He's got the answers to who you should take, to who you shouldn't take. He tells us about your team. Mel Kiper is a tortoise."

This weekend is the most over-hyped thing I have ever seen...the NFL Draft. It's true that I am interested in rounds one and two, other than that who cares?

Mel Kiper is wrong

Here are a few examples:

Kiper stated that USC wide receiver Mike Williams would be the best player in his 2005 draft class, despite not having played football in over a year after being ruled ineligible by the NCAA. When ESPN analyst Merril Hoge disagreed, Kiper uttered the now infamous line, "I'll see you at his Hall of Fame induction."

In 1998 Kiper said that Washington State Quarterback Ryan Leaf's "attitude" (which had rubbed teammates and coaches the wrong way in college) would be an asset in the NFL and give him a mental advantage over Peyton Manning.

Before the 2001 NFL season, Kiper predicted the New England Patriots to go 0-16 and have the 1st pick in the 2002 NFL Draft. Instead, the Patriots went 11-5 and went on to win Super Bowl XXXVI against the St. Louis Rams.

Other News:

The NBA Playoffs are getting real interesting...all 3 games last night featured teams who were down 2-0 in their series...the underdog won every time.

DeShawn Stevenson still sucks. He's averaging like 11 points a game and keeps calling out LeBron...Did anyone ever see Tombstone when Wyatt Earp finally got pissed off enough at the villains and uttered the lines "You tell them I'm coming and I'm bringing Hell with me." That's going to happen to the Wizards. Lebron will go for at least 40 in their next game...or have a triple double.

I'm Looking forward to watching CP3 play some more tonight.

Pitchers you should bet on:

Pick the obvious one's...duh. You might not win every time but at the end of the season there's a reason why their records are 17-5.

Johan Santana, Fausto Carmona, CeCe Sabathia, John Smoltz, Rich Harden (when healthy), Brandon Webb, Felix Hernandez, Josh Beckett.

It would be good to pick the "under" each time if it's at 6 or higher...if not pick the "over".

I'm awesome.

Again...my genius prevails

2008-04-22T14:14:00.000-07:00

For anyone who caught the radio show last night we didn't have enough time to cover the NFL draft...but when we did speak of it I informed everyone that Jake Long would be the #1 overall pick...

Well... Just a couple hours ago Jake Long signed with the Miami Dolphins making him the #1 overall pick. Sometimes I don't even understand it, there's a greater power at work here shining his light down into my brain...

What you missed on the show:
The NBA Playoffs...we talked extensively about them and I have concluded that the top teams in the NBA all have a trio of good players. That's what it takes now to win it all, a trio...a solid trio.

Would you take Shaq or Tim Duncan in their prime? Their numbers are very similar in all aspects of the game. But why is it that when you think of the greatest centers to play the game the name Tim Duncan just doesn't come to mind? Could it be his lack of personality?

Tim Duncan's lack of personality comes down to two things:
One - He's been the best at what he does for so long that he never had to actually be charming to women and is surrounded by people who laugh at his jokes all the time hoping to get some of his cash flow...
Two - His mom always told him he was fine the way he is and that he's a real catch.

Tim Duncan on season two of the pick-up artist?

We also covered the funniest sports injuries of all time and Bill Gramatica's celebration is one of the funniest things I've ever seen...you tube that junt.

Deep Thoughts:
Antonio Anderson and Robert Dozier will pull out of the draft...Cal has a genius plan for them to go to the workouts and see that they are nowhere near ready... causing them to come back and dominate.

Tyreke Evans is the real deal...boy is ballin.

That's it for now sons - Next post will feature the pitchers you should double down on... this video is inspired by Andrew Watson - he recently attended a wedding in which the bride walked down the aisle to this...hilarious!!

Stern's Gone Wild

2008-04-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

"The official City of Drew Compton NBA Tim Donahee you better make the bet that the Lakers will face the Celtics in the finals because that will make David Stern the most money NBA playoff preview..."

* David Stern is the president of the league, not to be confused with Daniel Stern, the man whom we all have to think for showing Henry Rowengardner the trick to staying healthy...hot ice. "You take the ice, and you heat it up." *

NBA Playoffs start Saturday night -

I would love to see the Lakers/Celtics meet in the finals, that would be classic. Bring back all the greats from those games in the past and have a special ceremony type of thing...I would suggest a charity type of game but Magic Johnson has AIDS, and we don't need his AIDS blood going everywhere.

Kobe Bryant will now win MVP - he deserves it. Chris Paul is one of my favorite players in the NBA, but in the end it's going to come down to the team with the better record... Let's just hope that Kobe doesn't pull a Dirk and totally bomb in the first round.

Now as for the Matchups:

Eastern Conference:

Washington vs. Cleveland - this is going to be good. King James carried his team to the Finals last season and Gilbert Arenas of the Wizards is in a contract year...(Agent Zero is all about the money) - this one will be my favorite opening round to watch...for the Eastern Conference at least.

Toronto vs. Orlando - two teams who will get knocked out in the second round, most boring one to watch. Next...

Philly vs. Detroit - Rodney Carney and Thaddeus Young to represent, that's pretty cool I guess. Getting punched in the face is more interesting than this series. Detroit will steamroll through...

Boston vs. Atlanta - The Hawks are better than you think...with that being said they still pale in comparison to the Celtics. Boston in 4, maybe 5.

Western Conference:

There is not a boring matchup at all in this conference...

Utah vs. Houston: - I like the Derron Williams/Boozer connection... T-Mac is all the Rockets have. They will lose, embarassingly in 4. Reportedly, the monkey who was on Peyton Manning's back has decided to jump on T-Mac's instead. And he's never getting off.

Dallas vs. New Orleans - I don't want Dirk to win anything. I want Chris Paul to own the Mavs...I still think Dallas will take it...In 6.

Phoenix vs. San Antonio - This will be the second best series to watch this weekend. Amare is going to go wild! Expect 35 and 15 a game...believe it son. With that being said, you can't pick against the Spurs.

Denver vs. Los Angeles - This will be the most exciting series to watch...it's quite possible this will go to seven games. Carmello, AI, Kobe all on the floor together. This will be fun. I still think the Lakers will take it though.

There you have it - my first round preview...hope you enjoyed. If you didn't your dead to me.

Memphis Reke's....

2008-04-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

Less than two hours ago Tyreke Evans - the #4 rated player in high school announced that he will be a Memphis Tiger...for one year.

One and done - that's the name of the game these days, and right now it seems like John Calipari is winning this game like the fast kid at freeze tag.

Corniest thing I could say right now: Memphis doesn't rebuild, they re-load (while I'm mean mugging)... but it's true.

Let's say CDR comes back - they now have only lost Joey Dorsey and Derrick Rose. Granted Derrick Rose is a special talent, but whose to say Tyreke Evans isn't special? Apparently Cal thinks he is...and I have faith in Cal as my coach.
*I don't count Andre Allen as a loss, he can't shoot and has dwarf arms*
Combine the current roster with or without CDR, add the recruits of Evans, Angel Garcia, and Matt Simpkins, possibly Devin Ebanks - holy crap. That's the #1 class right there son. These are the good ole days - and that's the truth. Whether you like Memphis, hate Memphis, like Cal, hate Cal - you cannot deny that Memphis has had a special run and it's only getting sweeter right now.

That's all I have to say about that. This is good for the city...it Smells of corruption downtown already...so let's make downtown Reke! (lame I know)

In other brief news:

If you missed it, the Grizzlies lost to the Timberwolves...of course you missed it. The big story from that game was that three people were injured after some railing gave way and collapsed - I know I'm terrible for finding this funny but this is why:
How is it that there are so many fans seeking autographs from two of the worst teams in the NBA that the rail collapses? Better get that Jason Collins autograph before he goes free agency...

If anyone missed South Park from last week please go back and watch it...It focuses on the cheating efforts of the New England Patriots - comedy gold.

That's it until Friday.

Mike Fratello wears a toupee

2008-04-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

Thanks again for catching the show last night for all twelve of you who listened...it's steadily increasing though, and we're all about numbers and retention!

Here's a brief re-cap:

Memphis Tiger's basketball...good run. (That's all I have to say about that).

Trevor Imelman - congratulations...although it feels like everyone in the world is disappointed that Tiger Woods didn't win. Now everyone in town is going to get golf fever for the next month... I used to work at a driving range and there were four types of people who would show up after a major:
1. The guy with the brand new set of clubs - Nice new Nike Set, too bad you still suck.
2. The guy with the Golf Magazine - He would usually have it laying down beside him as he practiced rediculous tips from the latest issue.
3. The guy with the video camera - He would record his mechanics, go home and watch the tape, and then come back to the range with a "solution."
4. The father and son - The kid was usually age 10 or under and the dad who already sucked at golf would try to teach his kid how to be good at golf, with hopes of riding that kids coat tails...it never worked. Yeah, thanks dad for teaching me how to play with a 25 handicap.

These people to this day still suck. They would then look for an excuse other than the fact that their terrible - "Your range balls are bad." - What did you expect titleist?

Losers.

I vented about the Olympic torch...again - see last post. I hate hippies.

We gave a women's sports report to the sounds of Melissa Etheridge once again...I love lesbians.

Threw the countdown clock at you, and gave you a top ten list... the following hilarious story is the inspiration for the top 10 list:

I attended a wedding a couple weeks ago that was an absolute blast. Among the people there were Mike Fratello (the former coach of the Grizz) and his girlfriend, "Karen", who is very attractive. So after the ceremony I was talking with a couple friends at the reception...we were standing around, drinking beer and talking about guy stuff when Pau Gasol's girlfriend came over to say hi to us. This is a very attractive girl that we all know and she was one of the many attractive bridesmaids in this wedding...so when she walks away I said to my friends "Do you think she's with Pau because she finds him attractive?"...this was followed by laughter. Shortly after, one of my friends added - "Yeah, just like how "Karen" is dating Mike Fratello because he's a good guy..."
Mike Fratello was literally two feet in front of us when this was said - all we did was stand there frozen...and then of course chugged our beers. Thus inspired the top 10 ugliest people in sports who have a spouse only because they play sports...
The #1 choice - Randy Johnson. Not only did some lady marry him but this same lady had to sleep with him to give him 3 kids!

Give me about one or two more weeks and you will start getting genius baseball picks...believe it son.

Let's start a riot in Chinatown...

2008-04-11T12:26:00.000-07:00

I have finally taken myself away from the deep slumber of depression I have been swimming in since my Tigers phenominally blew it on the biggest stage of college basketball...

Unfortunately, I still don't want to talk about it...but will be willing on Monday night at 8pm on 730ESPN - (this is what we call a teaser in the business)...what business? Who am I kidding? Some average schmo talking big time - I know you CODC'ans are smarter than that.

As for everything else non-championship game yet still Tiger related -

I will shoot Derrick Rose if he does not go pro. You brought national attention to the program on a higher level, now go get your millions son.

CDR - stay another year, you'll be a 1st rounder regardless what you decide to do and you will never be a top 10 pick.

I hope the Tigers sign everyone still looking at them - they'll at least make it back to the Sweet16.

In other sports -
There's been a lot of bone-headed stuff to report that I'm saving for my show, the good news is there are less arrests in college football since the last report.

What's the deal with the Olympic torch? So you hippies want to protest against China for the Tibetan bull crap? Get a life, protest something of meaning, like Darfur... sike!! That's lame too - why don't you start worrying about yourself first - Rodney Dangerfield said it best when he said "I try to watch out for number 1, and try not to step in number 2"... Next time you hippies protest against China why don't you NOT show up in your clothes, shoes and hemp backpacks which are all made in China. You people make me sick.

I'm going to start picking baseball games in a couple weeks - you should get ready for that, I'm sort of genius...only shorter.

Well Put...

2008-04-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

No need to even talk up tonight's game...I couldn't have put it better myself than what Chris Vernon had to write...

http://chrisvernon.blogspot.com/2008/04/when-possibility-becomes-reality.html